Soul Songs
by BrightAngel06
Summary: The Doctor and Rose have to rebuild a shattered relationship just as Rose is kidnapped. Can he get her back? SongFics TenRose Angsty WARNING: contains references of rape and violence. Reviews make me smile! NOW COMPLETE!
1. The Songs of the Rose

**The Song of the Roses**

A song. That was all it took. A song. Pure and simple. It took a song to get his shattered soul back. He needed his soul. He was mourning Rose when she wasn't dead. He had to leave her again. It was just something he had to do. Nothing would be able to save her from the torment. Her pain. So he left her, without the goodbye he craved. Without the kiss he craved from her once more. She was left there by him and he had never even said why. And now his passion was dying. The life in his eyes had flickered and died. She was gone. Regret filled every pore of his being as he listened to the words of Rose's favourite song. It stuck his many heartstrings.

**It's been raining since you left me, **

**Now I'm drowning in the flood,**

**You see, I've always been a fighter,**

**But without you, I give up.**

Rose was gone. Not coming back because he had been to cowardly to even say goodbye. The torture they had put her through didn't bare thinking about anymore. The Doctor was empty, more than empty; hollow and numb. He did the right thing, so why was there regret? It swamped over everything else in his system. It ate at him in earnest. Death would have been welcome to him now. He wanted Rose. He needed Rose but he didn't know why. It pulled and pulled and pulled at him until he couldn't hold it in any longer. The searing tears came at a cascade down his face as he remembered her.

**What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair**

**To touch your lips, to hold you near**

**When you say your prayers try to understand**

**I've made mistakes, I'm just a man.**

The green light of the TARDIS dimmed in the shadows of the Doctor's numbness as the too true words flooded over him again. This was him, his life. How could Rose have known? And Bon Jovi of all people? He chuckled lightly and thought of Rose singing in the shower...he'd heard her on the TARDIS often enough. Her voice was beautiful. Everything was beautiful. He always thought of her as the perfect rose. Not flawless but perfection itself to him. He wept once more at the loss. The TARDIS listened to a crack inside its soul. The Doctor was dying a very human death; of a broken heart. He was too stubborn to live. She took matters into her own hands.

**I'll be there till the stars don't shine**

**Till the heavens burst**

**And the words don't rhyme**

**And I know when I die; you'll be on my mind**

**And I'll love you, always.**

When he dies? He already has, many, many times. He never thought of anyone else before he regenerated or said goodbye but Rose...Rose was different. He felt the familiar speeding of his unshed grief in his mind. He couldn't go back now, could he? It'd put everything at risk. He could destroy her future. Or have Rose back with him. A part of the Doctor reasoned that she probably wouldn't want to come back to him. He rarely landed the TARDIS on time, but if he could just take a few goes...No! The Doctor shook his head and dismissed all thought of Rose. Unsuccessfully. Rose. That name meant so much to him; beauty, naivety, innocence, wickedness, humour, life, vigour, youth, friendship, humanity, compassion, strength, confidence, wit, heat, passion, fire, sex, closeness, kindness, empathy...everything. But there was one word that the Doctor's mind didn't want to admit to. The word slid past all the others and stood proud and regal overlooking everything. Love. Simple love. Realisation dawned on his face. It was love. Love he felt for Rose; it consumed everything in its path. He jumped up and around the TARDIS and was flying. The Doctor hadn't noticed the ancient groans of the engines stop, nor had he even noticed them starting. Curious, he looked onto a monitor to see where he was. Why the old girl had brought him here when all he wanted to be was with...

**If you told me to cry for you**

**I could**

**If you told me to die for you**

**I would**

**Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay**

**To say these words to you.**

Rose! He was at some sort of English country garden in Rose's future. And she was here! It was a wedding... Rose's? No, the TARDIS console blazed words onto the monitor. _She waited for you; she knew you'd return to claim her love._ He pulled back the TARDIS door and stepped out onto the lush green grass. He looked inside the great Victorian building through the French windows and scanned for Rose. Nothing. He walked around to the veranda and saw familiar blonde hairs cascading down a slim back he would recognize anywhere. He chose that precise moment to walk up to hear her gently singing an all too familiar tune. "_And I'll love you, always._ Doctor..." She trailed off gently. He slowly walked up behind her and just stared at the goddess in a beautiful dress that would look horrible on the hangar. She made it beautiful. Her head came up carefully as his breathing hitched behind her. She looked carefully around and no surprise flashed onto her face. "I knew you'd come back. But I don't know why." A ballad, quiet through glass came quietly on the sound system.

"Dance with me." He said simply. She did and never questioned why again but something bit at her heart and threatened to consume.

**Well, there ain't no luck  
In these loaded dice  
But if you give me just one more try  
We can pack up our old dreams  
And our old lives  
We'll find a place where the sun still shines...**


	2. Second Chances

**Second Chances**

Laughter. Laughing; a hearty laugh. It filled the Doctor's head and drove him crazy. He held onto Rose tightly, feeling the smooth silk of her dress. He wanted to feel the silk everywhere on her. He danced and twirled and heard her humming into his ears. He knew she was holding back. She didn't want to get into it too heavily. _Why won't she just let it be, doesn't she know? _He thought to himself. His chin leant on top of Rose's head and he breathed deeply. Something floral hit his senses at first. It was deep and he loved it. He could smell coconut and burning life in her scent. His senses went into overdrive as he pulled her tighter and found another aroma hitting at the back. It was subtle, sweet and perfection itself. It was the undeniable smell of his Rose. He held her to his body fiercely, he couldn't let her go again, he just couldn't lose her. Another slow song came into his head.

**You look into my eyes  
I go out of my mind  
I can't see anything  
Coz this love's got me blind  
I can't help myself  
I can't break the spell  
I can't even try **

Love. That word again. _They're four letters, why can't I say them? _The laughter in his head turned to mocking guffaws coming from deep inside. He was scared. The frustration was burning in his eyes and threatened to fall as tears. She was pulling away, slowly, slowly. He held on tighter, _just one song, one dance…I have to tell her…four letters…four letters…_ the mantra repeated in his mind like a broken record . over and over again. _Just say it…just say it…just say it… _He couldn't even prise his lips apart to usher the feeling. The song pounded and pounded away at his soul. This was tearing him apart, tearing, so shattered and so broken. Only Rose could fix him again. _Please make me whole, Rose…just say it… _Nothing. The stinging sensation gripped him as the tears started to roll silently like snowballs down his face.

**I'm in over my head  
You got under skin  
I got no strength at all  
In the state that I'm in  
And my knees are weak  
And my mouth can't speak  
Fell too far this time**

She prised her head upwards and he was hit by her eyes. They were disbelieving and incredulous. She looked sadly at him as the eyes of their souls met. His hearts were breaking. Maybe he was wrong. She was better off without him. The familiar crack inside him made him break into full on avalanche tears. Silently, silently. The Doctor could see tears in Rose's eyes too. She was waiting…waiting for the words he couldn't say. It was too much; too much…he was going to explode. He felt everything at once. Guilt, pain, anger, hurt, love, passion, desire, need, sadness…oh, so much sadness. A little glint of joy at what could be if he was brave enough. Love. Love. Love. So much love it was killing him not to be able to tell her and scare her away. He couldn't risk it now, she was better off. Right? The brown hazel of her eyes turned to black as their eyes blazed and fought against each others. He felt the heat between them and saw the tiny sparks. _They're just letters, don't be scared. You're the Doctor for Rasillion's sake! You've faced pure evil and you're scared to say a word! _He screamed at himself inside his head.

**Well you whisper to me  
And I shiver inside  
You undo me and move me  
In ways undefined  
And you're all I see  
And you're all I need **

**Help me baby (help me baby)**

**Help me baby (help me now)**

He felt Rose shake herself slightly. She tore her eyes from his and he gasped at their absence. It was a void, a void between them that couldn't be filled. Her arms slipped away from his grasp and she tore his arms away from her body. Ice cold fear gripped him and wouldn't let him go. He was suffocating as she ran through glass double doors. He stood stock still in regret. He was a coward. A coward for letting her get away. It taunted him and made his loneliness sink in. Something inside him snapped and he ran as fast as his legs could carry him through the throng of happy dancing couples. A flash of blonde hair and bare shoulders caught his gaze and he ran…ran so fast, so hard it burned him. "ROSE! ROSE!" Her head whipped around to glimpse at him but she kept running. He found the sight of her tear stained face gut wrenching. He was braver than this regret, he could battle it. "ROSE, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!" She continued running and so did he. She climbed blue carpeted stairs awkwardly and the Doctor put on a sprinting finish. It was his chance. As Rose got to the top of the stairs, he came up behind her asked her as she froze "Why did you run?" No reply came. "Why did you run, Rose? Please, tell me." She walked forward slightly and the Doctor grabbed her hand tightly and spun her like a rollercoaster. He looked deeply into her eyes. "Tell me, please."

Her voice shook like her body, "I was scared."

**I'm slipping away  
Like the sand to the tide  
Falling into your arms  
Falling into your eyes  
If you get too near  
I might disappear  
I might lose my mind  
**

He felt her trembling under his gaze. His head inched slowly, carefully towards her ear. She shook violently and her breath hitched as he whispered deeply. "I want you; I need you in my life. I love you, Rose Tyler. I've always loved you." Relief flooded him when she didn't slap him. She looked into his eyes carefully. His lips inched closer and closer towards Rose's. The sparks flew once again. This was it. The Doctor pressed his lips to hers lightly, like a feather. Barely there, a taste of what could be. When she didn't run again, he kissed her harder, deeper, faster. Slanting his mouth over hers and pulling her tightly to him again. Her lips taste cool and sweet and just of Rose, he thinks. He wants more. His tongue ran over her bottom lip and she granted him entrance. He probed and tasted as the kiss became passionate and desperate. He needed her. He wanted her, oh god; he wanted her. His hands went up and down her back, feeling the silkiness of her dress and flushed skin. He pushed her slowly into the nearest wall, their bodies pressing.

She whispered into his ear, "I love you too." The door to her hotel room opened and she pulled him inside, slamming the door shut.

**I'm going in crazy in love for you baby  
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)  
I'm going down like a stone in the sea  
Yeah, no one can rescue me  
(No one can rescue me)  
**

He woke up suddenly when he felt something was missing. Something was wrong. Desperately wrong. His eyes wrenched open and he found that Rose was gone. _She wouldn't leave, she just wouldn't. _He threw the duvet off himself and ran around the room. Rose's dress was still on the floor. All of her clothes, make-up and shoes were there on the floor. Someone had been searching for something. His blood boiled. Rose had been taken from him again. _No…no…no! _He grabbed his clothes and roughly threw them on, not really caring. He ran round out the door and saw nothing. He heard nothing. Long gone. His head drooped in sadness. The anger built up quickly inside of him once again. He stormed around the room. They would pay for this, whoever they were. He sank against the bathroom door and looked up. There, scorched into the wood was a message.

_We have her. We shall have her blood, we want her very essence. Her body and soul are now ours. She will rot in our ship's disposal. Revenge is sweet, Doctor._

Below it laid a dripped trail of dry, scarlet, angry blood, pooling onto the floor at the Doctor's feet.

**I'm lost in everything about you  
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep  
I can't think  
I just think about these things that you do (you do)  
I'm too lost in you  
(Too lost in you) **


	3. Falling Through The Void

I Want More

Hum, that's what it was. A humming. A constant thrum in the back of his head. It wasn't helping or hindering. It was just there. The Doctor looked up from his feet and felt the glow of the hum enter his numb body. He'd run. Ran back to the TARDIS with a vial of blood. He'd slotted the vial into the TARDIS system and waited. Agonizing seconds wasted. Tick, tick, tick. Every single second he waited, the less likely it got that Rose would be safe. The dried blood he'd had to scrape from the wood grain of the door. The fluid blood he'd had to put his fingers through, knowing where it could have come from. It killed him, piece by piece. Tick, tick, tick. Numbers and names and databases flashed on the screen. The Doctor let out a sigh of relief as he saw that the TARDIS was narrowing it down..._Human…_flashed onto the screen. "Damn." The Doctor swore under his breath…_Female…_"No. It can't be…" _Age 24. _"Five years. 24. _She'd_ be 24." _Searching databanks…confirmation. Blood sample. Human. Female. Age 24. Found under companion databanks. Name: Rose Marion Tyler._

The Doctor sank to the floor onto his knees. Grief spilled over him.

**Beauty queen of only eighteen  
She had some trouble with herself  
He was always there to help her  
She always belonged to someone else  
I drove for miles and miles  
And wound up at your door  
I've had you so many times but somehow  
I want more**

He kept checking and checking until the TARDIS refused to go on any longer. He couldn't put it off. He ran back to Rose's hotel room. The Doctor sped past the receptionist and forced his way through the locked door, no longer possessing a key. The Doctor rushed around the room, looking, just looking. There had to be something. Anything! He pulled everything out of the drawers, the wardrobe, bed sheets. He thrashed around and around just searching for anything. The tears threatened again as frustration overwhelmed him. Looking up, he saw the bleary image of the bathroom door. Stained red with scraped blood and the message scorched into the wood. It struck him like a lightning bolt. Of course! He could extract the DNA strands from the message. It had to be something from his databank because they wanted revenge. He'd had to have met them before! Perfect. The Doctor delved into his jacket, pulled out his sonic screwdriver from the pocket and clicked it onto saw setting.

**Tap on my window knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful  
I know I tend to get so insecure  
It doesn't matter, not anymore  
It's not always rainbows and butterflies  
It's compromise that moves us along  
My heart is full and my door's always open  
You can come anytime you want  
**

The console's green light flowed over the scarlet stained wood of the former bathroom door. The scorched words became infected with green and were lifted from the white panel of the door, circling around the central column of the TARDIS. The hazel eyes of the tenth Doctor watched them intently, wishing and hoping for a lead, an answer. Anything that could get him to Rose. The message swirled faster and faster now, the green light turning to gold and sparking. The sparks finally merged into an image blinking, flickering and swirling still around the column. The hazel eyes turned black with fury and confusion as they focused on the image. There, spiralling slowly around and around the column was a head. The screen flashed words. _'DNA found under companion databanks. Name: Adam Mitchell.' _The image above was red like fire. It flickered and blinked. The head of the Sycorax leader.

"It doesn't make sense!" He yelled at the screen, accusingly. "How the hell did Adam's DNA get on the message! We're a year out from his time!" No response came. His features darkened and he yelled at the top of his voice. "Damn, damn, DAMN!" The Doctor punched his white knuckles against the TARDIS console as the screen blinked another message to him. _'They have Rose but you need her more, Theta. There is a way.'_

**I know where you hide  
Alone in your arms  
Know all of these things that make you who you are  
I know that goodbye means nothing at all  
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls**

**Tap on my window knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful  
**

"THEN SHOW ME!" He bellowed at the TARDIS. No response. He slumped meekly down and his voice turned disturbingly quiet. "I need her with me." More words blazed onto the screen, '_Then I will take you to her…she needs you as well; perhaps too much.' _The Doctor's mind went into overdrive as the ancient sounds of the engines started up. Why had the TARDIS prevented him from finding Rose quicker? The Doctor stared at the throb of the column going up and down, heaving for breath. The journey took five minutes, an unusually long time for the TARDIS and she landed with a resounding thump and groan. The doors flung wide open and he walked tentatively over to the beckoning darkness he could see. He hesitated. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong with his machine. Turning back to look at the console, his eyes widened as he saw the normally fluorescent light of the centre flicker wildly. Realisation dawned on him again and sadness burned through his heart once more. The TARDIS was dying. Wherever he was, whenever Rose was, it was draining his machine. The hollow tears streaked his face again. He and Rose were stuck here. No more TARDIS. She had died to save Rose and fix the Doctor's broken heart.

**I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved**

**I try so hard to say goodbye.**


	4. Flickering Life

Flickering Life

The darkness consumed everything. His machine became black, the turquoise and gold seeping out of it. Bleeding. The beauty was gone. The life was dead. He now had nothing. Nothing left to lose. Except Rose. The hairs on the back of the Doctor's neck prickled in the silence of death. He mourned for a split second, the grief overwhelming him quickly. But his TARDIS could not, would not die in vain. He had to save Rose, to bring her back to him. He decided that she would live. He looked simply up at the shell of his machine and whispered quietly, "Thank you." Turning back slowly he studied his surroundings. They were no longer just black; they were pure terror. It was just a plain white wall, a plain steel door, plain red blood splattered over them both. The terror and black gripped the Doctor. He couldn't lose them both. The silence was broken by a scream, a faint scream in the distance. There was no other way but forward. Grasping the cold, hard handle of the steel door, he pushed it open quietly. Fear and anger flooded him at the sight before his eyes.

**I kinda thought that I'd be better all by myself  
I've never been so wrong before  
You made it impossible for me to ever,  
Love somebody else  
And now I don't wanna let you go  
See I thought that I could replace you**

**You can't love me the way you do**

The room in front of the Doctor was vast, white with the same blood-red smears and…empty. It was empty, no Rose, no guards, no prisoners. No-one. Just the lonely God, standing staring at the blood. The sonic screwdriver in the Doctor's hand suddenly whirred into life. The Doctor pointed it instinctively at the wall and the pattern of beeps told him it was a match. She had been here. It was Rose's blood again. Walking up to the wall, he saw a vivid, fresh, smudged handprint in her blood. He placed his own hand on top of it and guilt surged through him once more. It burned. They would pay dearly for hurting her. Out of the corner of his eye, the Doctor saw a glimpse of blurred light. Another door! He ran for it and tugged at it, ripping the hinges off of the door. A corridor was what he saw now, lined with the same steel doors on both sides. From one of these doors, the screams grew louder. He ran for the door, but felt four strong hands on his shoulders gripping him, holding him back.

**I tried to tell myself that I'd be over you**

**In a week or two  
But baby that was 'bout a year ago  
I've never seen the word love so personified **

**As I do with you  
And that is why I just can't let go, oh no**

**I'm spoiled.**

He was spun around. The hands gripping him looked like muscle, just exposed muscle. Two burly, angry, Sycorax soldiers laughed at him and led him down the corridor towards a control room. Around the sides were a dozen Sycorax soldiers. There, in the middle, sat Adam Mitchell; complete with the door in his head wide open. The Doctor stared at him, confused. Adam rose up from his chair and the guards let the Doctor go. "The Doctor, I spose?"

The Doctor just grinned, "Yep, still me. Don't really remember you though. Who're you exactly?"

It worked. Disappointment crossed Adam's skeletal, dark features, swiftly replaced by anger. "Don't pretend like you don't remember me, Doctor. It's getting old."

"Pretty Boy."

Adam smirked, "Rose always thought so." The Doctor lurched forward, making for Adam, but was pulled back again by guards. "Believe me, Doctor, you don't want to do that."

"I don't care what you do to me."

"But her?"

_Her_ was Rose, he was sure. The Doctor's struggling stopped, "How did you get here, Adam? We're a year off from your time."

"Your stupid bloody machine landed a year early. I'd been back here about six months when I saw someone who looked all too familiar."

"Rose."

"Spot on, as always. I was found out by the Sycorax. They've suffered at your hands, Doctor."

"That wasn't me."

"You didn't stop it, though. They found my technology," he pointed to his head, "and I have knowledge of you. We both wanted revenge."

"Why did you track Rose down?"

**And I would only be fooling myself if I tried to  
Believe there's room for someone else in my heart  
There ain't no way I'm getting over you  
I don't know what I've been trying to prove  
I'm hopeless, helpless when it comes to you  
**

"You love her." It wasn't a question. A statement of fact.

"Yes." The Doctor's eyes looked towards the door from where screams could still be heard. "But you want me, this has nothing to do with her."

"It has everything to do with her. She has the essence."

"Essence? What essence?"

"When we took her, she was with you."

"Yes."

"She was beginning the early fusion stage, that chemical was what we needed from her blood. The time was ripe."

"You took her blood because you think she's pregnant?"

"We needed that blood, Doctor. It drew you here by instinct. Another Time Lord.

"But how did you know that me and Rose were…?"

"I'm not that stupid, she's pretty. Nice body. Had a go, myself..." The Doctor lunged forwards again, pushing every Sycorax soldier off him and lunged for Adam's throat, pressing his windpipe closed. He was pulled off instantly. "Oh, Doctor, just for that, I think I'll make you watch. She won't be able to see you. You're invisible to her. A little trick."

He gestured to the door and the Doctor saw Rose being brought in. She looked deathly white and she was pushed by two guards into a heap on the floor. Grief burned across him again. Her stomach had a deep red gash on it. Adam ran his hand over Rose's body, now slumped on the floor. She struggled against his weight, kicking, screaming at him to stop. Adam kicked Rose's stomach one last time and she was dragged away screaming as the blood flowed freely again.

The Doctor decided that he would kill Adam.

**I'm spoiled by your love  
No matter how I try to change my mind  
What's the point it's just a waste of time  
I'm spoiled by your touch  
The love you give is just too hard to fight  
Don't want to live without you in my life  
I'm spoiled  
**

Adam circled the Doctor now, looking at him in amusement. "I knew you'd never leave her for long. It was only a matter of time…"

The Doctor's stare would have killed anything and his voice was heavy. "…before I showed up…yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah. Adam, why bother?"

Annoyance crossed Adam's face, "What?"

"I've seen a lot of things, Adam. I've seen stars being born, I've seen stars die. Like Elvis. I've seen every world come to an end. You must think that this is something new. I've got news for you, mate, it's not. You can't win against me. I'm the oncoming storm. Whole species fear me because of what I bring. I bring death and destruction and pain to those who hurt the ones I love. I will kill you Adam because no-one can escape the storm. You're supposed to know me, right? So you must know I'll win. I'll kill you, I'll save Rose and I'll destroy this."

To the Doctor's surprise, Adam grinned. "Save her? Why Doctor, I'd have thought better of you. Can't you hear?" Silence now, her screams had stopped. "You can't save her Doctor when she's already dead."

**I'm spoiled by your love  
No matter how I try to change my mind  
What's the point it's just a waste of time  
I'm spoiled by your touch  
The love you give is just too hard to fight  
Don't want to live without you in my life  
I'm spoiled **


	5. The Storm's Wake

The Storm's Wake

"Can't you hear?" Silence now, her screams had stopped. "You can't save her, Doctor, when she's already dead."

The words played their way through his system and flowed into the Doctor's now empty head. Dead. Not Rose, it couldn't be Rose. But he couldn't feel her life anymore. The tingling just knowing that Rose was alive had…gone. Flickered and died. She had died without him there by her side. The grief in him made its way to the surface. He sunk to his knees before Adam, head hung low. She was dead and so was his mercy. There was no-one to hold him back anymore. He could do whatever the hell he wanted. And he wanted to kill Adam. The tears of anger spilled out of his black eyes. Adam looked down on him and sneered; "Pathetic. She was pathetic, stupid and an idiot to trust you. Torchwood took me and this is my revenge. You failed, Doctor. Give in to us. You can't win anymore."

The Doctor looked up at Adam. Adam saw pure hatred in his blank eyes. Seething fury. The Doctor had a lust for revenge. It spilled out of him. Standing up, he spoke to Adam, voice shaking in a whisper. "You don't realise what you've done, do you?" He grabbed Adam's shirt collar with one hand, "You've opened the gate, Adam. The Oncoming Storm will devour and no-one can stop it. Welcome to Hell."

**There are children standing here  
Arms outstretched into the sky,  
Tears drying on their face.  
He has been here.  
Brothers lie in shallow graves.  
Fathers lost without a trace.  
A nation blind to their disgrace,  
Since he's been here.  
**

He let go of Adam's shirt and turned around to face the door. His face held a vat of steely blank darkness. No emotion. Not now. He died when Rose died a long, painful death. He had let her down, and now he had nothing to lose. He walked forwards slowly, hand that made to grab him were repelled by a force. A soldier ran towards him, blazing in fury. When he was three inches from the Doctor's body, he was thrown back with such a force that the wall behind him cracked. The Doctor was protected from them. But no-one is immortal. He walked to the door and slammed it open. A northern accented voice could be heard echoing from the Tenth Doctor's body, "The Oncoming Storm will devour. No-one can stop it. Only she held the key."

**Houses burnt beyond repair.  
The smell of death is in the air.  
A woman weeping in despair says  
He has been here.  
Tracers lighting up the sky.  
It's another families' turn to die.  
A child afraid to even cry says,  
He has been here.**

**And I see no bravery,  
No bravery in your eyes anymore.  
Only sadness**

He ran down the corridors to Rose's cell, where he could smell the freshness of her blood. Darkness invaded his hearts and they broke with a resounding crack. Opening the door, he saw a table at waist height. Her body limply lay across it, straps still there, holding her down. Her pure blonde hair was tainted by blood and spread across her face. He could see the same gash in her stomach as before, but no blood spilled now. Her skin was white, whiter than snow. She was still beautiful. He looked over her dead body, undoing the restraints and grabbed her limp form up to him. He hugged her with all his strength, willing it her to come alive again. He brushed the top of her head lightly with a kiss. The smell of her was his undoing. She was still warm, her smell was still of Rose and he finally shattered into a million pieces. His tears were salty on his lips as he remembered Rose's red lips on his, he remembered her laugh, her smile, her eyes. The life in her eyes was what he lived for. The spark behind them that said that she loves him. Had loved him. _Past tense_, he reminded himself, _she's dead._

She had been tainted, he remembered. Adam had raped her. Twice, maybe more. What killed the Doctor was that he didn't know how many times, how long she'd had to suffer the long, slow death. Knowing that he wasn't there, when she hoped he would rescue her. He had failed her. The rapist was right. Clutching her body tightly to him, he scooped her into his arms and laid her on the floor. He brushed the blood-red hair out of her face. Shock poured over him.

**There are children standing here,  
Arms outstretched into the sky,  
But no one asks the question why,  
He has been here.  
**

It wasn't Rose! This girl's features were different, her face was squarer and her eyes were blue. Understanding dawned into his hearts; this girl had been a decoy Rose. Rose's blood splashed onto her body and the same marks made to stall him. To make him broken. He was the oncoming storm and this girl had been caught up in its wake. Used, abused and killed to give them time. He didn't even know her name. He closed her open, dead eyes with his hand, slowly and laid her on the floor again, whispering in a mantra, London accent once more, "I'm sorry, I am so sorry." He stood up and simply felt. He was searching for Rose, her life, her force. His eyes spread wide open in shock and he felt everything.

She was still alive, but just barely. Her heart beat slowly thudded along. But her soul was ebbing away. He could feel her pain. Her stomach was bleeding; her blood and her innocence had been taken from her by force. He could feel her anguish, her disappointment that he wasn't there by her side. But just at the back, there was a flicker of something. Hope. It was hope. He wasn't about to disappoint her even more. She would be safe again, with him. The Doctor sped up and ran with all his might towards the flicker of hope. But the storm raged on.

**Old men kneel to accept their fate.  
Wives and daughters cut and raped.  
A generation drenched in hate.  
Says, he has been here. **

She was alive, that's all that mattered to him anymore. The storm brew wilder and wilder in his body. It reached from the top of his head down to the bones of his toes. It spread and grew wild, willing to do anything to save her. He owed her that, at least. He sprinted through blackened corridors, past monitors and controls towards the flicker of hope. The Doctor knew what he had to do. It was either him or Rose, and he wanted her safe. That left him only one option. He ran faster and faster, the acid in his leg muscles burned him inside out and he relished it. It was a distraction from her pain, her distress. And her regret. He rounded the last corner and saw Rose's body on the floor, her eyes shut in pain as Adam raped her once more. The Doctor's mercy broke again and he hurled the lone Adam off her. He looked back at his Rose. She was glowing gold. Her eyes opened and she saw him as she sat up weakly.

"My Doctor, I'm sorry…I couldn't…I can't hold on." Her face darkened, her eyes closed and he felt something else take over her body. It invaded her. She spoke now, her voice dark and of something he had felt before as her eyes opened to gold once more. "I am the Bad Wolf and I hold the key."

**And I see no bravery,  
No bravery in your eyes anymore.  
Only sadness **


	6. Of Roses and Storms

Of Roses and Storms

"I am the Bad Wolf and I hold the key." The Doctor's mouth hung open and agape. Rose wasn't there anymore. But this wasn't real, it couldn't be happening. The Doctor's voice forced its way up. "How is this possible? Rose!"

Adam scrambled to his feet again and started to lunge at the Doctor's knees. Rose's hand shot up and he was propelled backwards into a wall with a sickening crack. His body sunk onto the floor. Her voice was sharp and plain, untainted. "I am not Rose, I am the Bad Wolf."

His arms flailed around at her. "That's impossible! You can't still be the Bad Wolf! You just can't!"

"The Bad Wolf never left this body. She doesn't burn anymore. She remembers now. She remembers everything, sees everything but she doesn't burn."

Now he was still, quiet and serious. "What d'you want with Rose?"

A smile crossed her face briefly. "She is still with me, oh, very much still here."

"What d'you want her for!"

She looked into his eyes deeply, serenely and he saw Rose's love. "She felt it coming. I had to stop it. We wouldn't let you become this. We can't let it happen. Not again."

Confusion rang through his senses into overload. "Let what happen?" No answer came. "Tell me!"

"It's what you are now. You are the Oncoming Storm and I have to stop it."

**I will not make the same mistakes that you did **

**I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery **

**I will not break the way you did **

**You fell so hard **

**I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far **

His anger went into overdrive, "I want to talk to Rose! Give her back to me!"

"She will not change her mind."

His voice became quiet and dangerous. "Give. Her. Back. To. Me." Suddenly her body lurched and slumped to the ground with a soft thud. Her eyes jerked open and her body convulsed. "Rose?"

Voice weak, she said quietly, "Doctor?"

He bent down and gently caressed her face, "It's me, Rose, I'm here."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She was crying silent tears down her face. "I'm sorry…It won't let me stay here…I'm sorry…I love you." Her body lurched and she became a spectrum of golds once again.

Devastation hit him like a ton of bricks. "No! No! I want her back, give her back!"

"If I do, she will die. I am keeping her alive for now."

"For now! What the hell does that mean!"

"I can't sustain your Rose for much longer. The Oncoming Storm is brewing again." Her back arched off the ground and her fingers became splayed across his chest, "I can feel it!" Rose's voice spoke normally to him now. "My Doctor. I've got to save you from this. I can't let it happen."

"Let what happen? Nothing's going to happen, Rose." His hand wiped the tears from her cheeks and his restraint weakened.

"Yeah it will, Doctor. I'm dying and nothing's gonna stop it. I've seen the future. I see what you become after I die. You become a killer."

**I lose my way **

**And it's not too long before you point it out **

**I cannot cry **

**Because I know that's weakness in your eyes **

**I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh**

**Every day of my life **

**My heart can't possibly break **

**When it wasn't even whole to start with **

Her eyes bore down into him, the brown in her irises becoming all-too familiar "I see your carnage. I see the storm unleashed on innocent people. You can't stop it. It'll take over you! I can't let you become that!" Her fingers dug into his jacket and she pulled him closer to her eyes. "The Bad Wolf will stop it. It'll go into you."

He looked at her, horrified, realising the consequences. "No! No! You'll die! I can't let you die!"

"It's only sustaining me, I'll die anyway. Remember?"

He heard the words he had spoken to her years before. _Humans decay. You wither and you die._ "I remember."

Her eyes glossed over again, "it's better this way, Doctor. I couldn't go on, I couldn't survive. I'm not strong enough."

"But I can heal you, Rose!"

She shook her head gently, "physically, yeah, yeah maybe you could. But I don't think even you could stop my dreams. My nightmares. Neither of us could handle me screaming in my sleep, remembering Adam on top of me, forcing me, raping me. I'm not strong enough. I'm just not strong enough."

He gripped her body tight to his, "please, don't leave me, Rose…I can't lose you."

"I have to do this, Doctor, I'm sorry. I love you, I love you so much." Rose's body arched unnaturally as the Doctor let her go. The gold life returned to her eyes. Standing up slowly, she looked at him. "This is it, Doctor. She has to do this."

**I watched you die **

**I heard you cry**

**Every night in your sleep **

**I was so young **

**You should have known better than to lean on me **

**You never thought of anyone else **

**You just saw your pain **

**And now I cry **

**In the middle of the night **

**For the same damn thing**

"What do I have to do?"

She smiled. "Let her in." Rose's hands pressed lightly against the Doctor's chest.

He breathed deeply and marvelled at the things he saw from Rose's simple touch. He saw everything! He saw Rose when she was a little girl and felt her pain, her pure anguish at knowing she had no father. A young woman plagued by boredom. A Rose he remembered; her meeting his ninth self. Her joy at running from aliens. He felt her safety even in great danger. He saw the Daleks on Satellite Five again, her becoming this for the first time. He felt her confusion and grief as he regenerated. The embarrassment as Cassandra kissed him in Rose's body. Her jealousy as she met Sarah Jane. Her pain at seeing him a broken man after Reinette died.

He felt her disbelief knowing that he'd left her a second time, alone without an explanation. Her pain of going through life without his smile, his voice, his touch. He felt her reluctance when he found her again. The next sense overwhelmed him. Love, oh, so much love for him that it made him weak. The pleasure, joy, love and purity of their joining.

But now he felt her pain, her anger, her fear and pure revulsion at what she saw. He would become a killer because of the Oncoming Storm. She wouldn't let it happen. He sensed her heart and soul reaching into him and pulling at the Storm brewing inside of him, ready to escape. He felt the fire inside as the Bad Wolf poured into him. Fire burned in his eyes. All that is. All that was. All that ever could be.

**Because of you **

**I never stray too far from the sidewalk **

**Because of you **

**I learned to play on the safe side **

**So I don't get hurt **

**Because of you **

**I find it hard to trust **

**Not only me, but everyone around me **

**Because of you **

**I am afraid **


	7. Light of the Mind

Hello! I want to thank everyone who's read and reviewed this story, I hope you enjoy it! This chapter's a bit of light relief before the really heavy stuff, but don't be fooled. I don't own The Doctor, Rose or the format sadly, but if David Tennant's for sale, my bid is one million pounds.

This chapter is dedicated to CalleighDelko, thank you for reviewing so much! I love it! Okay, here goes nothing...

* * *

Light of the Mind

The Doctor felt Rose's hands leave his body. He ached for their warmth now, ached for the heat and the love that she had put back into him. Opening heavy eyelids he saw her arms spread wide from her body, her face contorted in pain as a single tear slipped past her defences. He whispered to her quietly, "you have to let go, Rose. Let the storm go." Flashes of blinding light shone from her outstretched palms and her eyes widened as the storm was released.

The Doctor stumbled back with the force of the light; harsh, unrelenting, burning illumination. He was in awe of the woman in front of him. Her skin was silvery and she seemed to scream of perfection. The Doctor finally saw little wisps of shining grey vapour released from the tips of her fingers; his Rose had finally let the storm go from her body. The silver of the wisps swirled in the air above their heads, swirling and turning around and around, building up. Denser and denser still, until it was thick as smoke from a bonfire. The cruel light that emanated from Rose's hands stopped abruptly and she slumped to the ground, breathing heavily.

**Listen as your day unfolds  
Challenge what the future holds  
Try and keep your head up to the sky  
Lovers, they may cause you tears  
Go ahead release your fears  
Stand up and be counted  
Don't be ashamed to cry**

He fell to his knees as she sat up in front of him like a newborn animal. "Hey, hey, not so fast." She tried to balance onto her knees and failed, stumbling back to a sitting position. "Hey, slow down, Bambi."

She chuckled weakly, "Bambi? I should be the one calling you that, what with your doe-eyes."

His voice was light but his stare was piercing, "Rose? What d'you remember?"

"Everything. You have to stop the Sycorax; they could still go on without…Adam." She winced at the name she had to speak; he could see even a word as simple as that could cause her so much pain, so much fear. "What is that, exactly?" She said, gesturing to the ceiling.

He smiled, still his Rose; so inquisitive, "I think…it's energy. Very raw, emotional energy from me. The Sycorax must've wanted it." He looked defeated

"Could you use it in another way? Can you, like, use it against them?"

His eyes lit up immediately "Rose Tyler, I've said it once and I'll say it again; you are a genius!" his lips descended onto hers in a crushing kiss and she whimpered at the loss when he tore himself away.

**Herald what your mother said  
Read the books your father read  
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time  
Some may have more cash than you  
Others take a different view**

**My, Oh, my, hey, hey, hey.  
**

Leaping up from the floor he shrieked at Rose "Yes! I can extract the core energy and turn it into a violent binary force!" He skidded to a wall and spread his fingers along it, feeling the wall as if he were blind. Rose just stared at him, smiling broadly. His sonic screwdriver appeared from the depths of his pocket and ran lengthways along the wall.

Rose's voice sounded weak, even to her own ears, "And what'll that do?"

He stared at the suddenly revealed conduit box that was glowing blue and green onto the Doctor's face. "Sycoraxians fees off normal binary force, it's what makes them in control of their own minds." He worked the screwdriver over the screen and a keyboard slid out with a screech. "In theory, if I feed a violent version of binary force into their minds, it'll send them into reflux action and they'll lose control. I can tell them to do anything I like." He pointed his screwdriver at the swirling silvery smoke above his head and pressed down the button. He pulled back the screwdriver and a long string of pure silver ghosted from the centre of the smoke, following in the screwdriver's wake. He pulled the implement towards the screen of the conduit and the blue green light instantly turned as silver as the smoke.

**Don't ask no questions, it goes on without you  
leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace  
the world keeps on spinning  
you can't stop it, if you try to  
this time it's danger staring you in the face**

His voice screeched as the silver melded with the green and blue. "Yes! It's perfect! I can do it! Oh, come on! That's just beautiful!" He tapped the keyboard with a light fairy touch and spun himself around before settling on the enter button. "You see, Rose, if I press this button, I'm telling them to turn around and never come back!" The Doctor turned to look at Rose. Seeing she was smiling, he jabbed the key hard. Sparks flew from the conduit box and he jumped back in surprise.

He felt the earth suddenly begin to tremor beneath his feet as the ship above them departed the atmosphere. A resounding whoop filled the space as the Doctor jumped up and down with joy. "How good am I! Seriously! I could've told them anything! I could've made them recite pi to 3 million significant figures, I could've told them to figure out how humans made those edible ball bearings if I wanted the recipe! I could've made them do the chicken dance if I'd wanted them too! Hah, what d'you think Rose?" Silence. No reply came. Confused, he turned around, "Rose!"

The image he found would be burned into the Doctor's subconscious memory for the rest of his life.

Rose was lying face down on the floor. Adam was hovered above her limp body, knife in hand. Slicing down her wrists.

**You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, ****you gotta be wiser  
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, ****you gotta be stronger  
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, ****you gotta stay together  
All I know, all I know, love will save the day .**


	8. Decisions

Thank you for sticking with me, I loved writing this chapter so I hope you love reading it. I still don't own Doctor Who but who actually does coz I wanna buy it off them. Read and review! Thanks!

* * *

Decisions

All he could see was Rose's face. It was deathly pale and she looked icy, trembling. Adam's hand was on her mouth, restricting any screams from coming from her throat but the Doctor saw the pain in her face. It contorted her beautiful features and made them into something he didn't recognize. In that split second, all the Doctor could think of was her pain, wishing it to be on him. His dangerous eyes travelled to Adam, his hand curling under Rose's back, hoisting her upright to face the Doctor, back against Adam's chest. Adam had caked blood down his face from his own head wound. Rose's blood, dripping slowly from her slashed left wrist onto the bright white floor, was all the Doctor could see. Adam's pocket knife was at her throat, his arm wrapped around her waist. The Doctor's hearts skipped a few beats and he breathed heavily. Adam's voice was wavering as he spoke, "Now you're gonna listen to me, Doctor, for once it's about me!"

"What d'you want, Adam?"

"I want you to listen! You see your precious little Rose here is dying and I know you wanna save her, to play the _hero _but I want you to listen to me! I want you to know that she's dying. And it's your fault!"

**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**

The hand that was wrapped tightly around her waist curled down to her stomach wound. Adam's fingers went into the gash, making Rose cry out from the sudden burst of pain. He held his blood-soaked fingers up to the Doctor's face, shouting at him, "Don't you see? Her blood is on your hands! You're the reason; you're always the reason! You left me with a great gaping hole in my head! It's because of you that we're here now, you're the reason that I'm like this!"

"You chose this, Adam…"

"That's crap and you know it!" The Doctor stared at him, wide-eyed, "If it wasn't for you, she'd be home, safe, happy with a husband, children, all laughing together but you had to take it all away from her because you didn't wanna be lonely! Well, guess what? Now, you're gonna have her blood on your hands; you'll be guilty, seeing her in this agony, this pain that you caused her!"

"Doctor…no, it's not…it's not true…please, please don't listen to him…"

"Shut up!" The knife pressed harder into her throat, "you know as well as I do, Rose, this alien is like a virus! He infects people's lives, he kills innocents and then he just trounces off! Never stays to pick up the pieces, never admits to what he's done!"

**These wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase **

Rose was trying to pry herself from Adam's tight grasp to no avail, "she's changed because of this as well, Doctor. She's a completely different person, one that you've moulded to fit your personality. She's like you now; even her own mother wouldn't recognize her anymore" The Doctor saw a thin red line come down from Rose's skin as she hissed in pain, "I've read all about you and your companions. Does she know how many there've been? How many women and men you've had? I even talked to Sarah Jane about you?"

"When…" The Doctor was cut off by Adam's harsh voice.

"She had some stories to tell me…you abandoned her, like you did to Rose all those years ago. She told me that this is what you do; you leave people behind, Doctor, not caring how it affects them. Sarah told me about the after, how she would've given anything to get back to you. You never even realised how low she'd sunk with you gone, all her hope fading." His voice turned to a low whisper. "She tried to kill herself, Doctor. Sarah slashed her own wrists because you weren't there. She couldn't cope with the after."

Rose's voice was shrill, "No! You're lying! Don't listen to him!"

The Doctor saw Adam's hand grip tighter onto rose and he spoke into her ear, his eyes on the man before him. "But you tried the same, didn't you, Rose? You tried and tried to get over him but it didn't work, so you swallowed pills…"

Her eyes widened and she shouted at him, "shut up!"

He laughed lightly in her ear, "I would've said that it was a good thing your mum found you, but guessing the pain you're in now, maybe it would've been better if you died. At least then your Doctor would know what he did…"

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**

His mind went into overdrive. Had she really lost hope so badly? Was this all a ruse from Adam? He had to know, he just had to know. He asked her, sadness weighted in his eyes "Rose…?"

Her head hung low in shame, tears breaking "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

He broke now, realisation swimming over him, but he didn't want to believe it. "No, you didn't… tell me you didn't!"

Her head hung low and he felt her shame coming from her quiet, shaky voice. "I'm sorry."

Triumph marked Adam's quiet laughter. "There. This is what you do to people. I wasn't a nasty person; I was a good man, a good son. But you took it away from me. You took Sarah's dignity from her. You drove Rose, the woman you love, to suicide. And believe it or not, Doctor, I'm gonna give you a chance of a reprieve."

The Doctor came closer to Adam, daring to challenge the boy. "What? What the hell d'you mean; reprieve!"

Adam didn't flinch at the Doctor's harshness, "I'm gonna give you a chance. Your only chance. I don't want Rose to die, I actually like her. She treated me well, talked to me when all you did was send jealous looks my way."

"Then why don't you let her go, pretty boy?"

He smirked at the Doctor's naivety. "She's my bargaining tool. She doesn't want to die anymore, Doctor, but that's what she's doing. Can you see the life ebbing out of her eyes? Can you see the blood draining from her wrist and stomach? Can you see her broken body lying in a shallow grave?"

**You used to captivate me  
By your resonating life  
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind  
Your face, it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me **

The Doctor stared down Adam. He saw no lies or bluffs in the man's face. All Adam had done was tell the truth, hitting home for the Doctor what he'd done in his life. The consequences of his actions. He remembered Satellite Five with The Editor and the Jagrafess. How he just left, leaving unknown devastation in his wake. Rose had nearly died there, too, as the Bad Wolf. He had been a broken man. Adam was right; everything he touched turned to dust in his fingers, even people he loved. They all eventually became caught up in his devastation.

"It's simple enough. I want my life back. Your TARDIS can change history, so I want you to change mine back to how it was."

He laughed at Adam. Spitting his words, he said, "My TARDIS is dead. She died when you sapped the energy from her."

"I can easily give it back. It was never used. My first plan failed because of you but this is better than revenge. It's the chance of a lifetime, Doctor; you could stop this from ever happening! Be with Rose, love her again! Wake up in that bed at the hotel with her draped around you. You could be with her again!"

He looked into Adam's eyes and at Rose's weak face, still laced with pain, nearing unconsciousness. "So that's my choice then? That's the chance you're giving me? What if I won't do it?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Then you sentence her to death. It's your choice. Let me live or let her die." Rose slumped over Adam's arm.

**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along. **


	9. Explanations

Run

"What if I won't do it?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Then you sentence her to death. It's your choice. Let me live or let her die."

Rose slumped over Adam's arm. The Doctor's hearts pounded in his chest at the sight of Rose's unconscious body draped over Adam like a rag doll. She couldn't die; he wouldn't let her die like this. The Doctor looked at Adam's face and saw steely determination, intelligence and knowing. Possibilities were flying around the Doctor's brain, trying to think of a way out of it. He finally spoke, "I can't promise that your life will turn out better, Adam; for all I know, this is what you were meant to do."

Adam's voice was incredulous, "oh, so you believe in fate now!"

"It's not fate, it's history. I can't mess with history."

Adam started laughing, unconvinced. "You do it all the time. You change things every damn day of your life. Why not make my life better?"

The Doctor's voice was dark and deep. "You don't deserve a better life."

"And who are you to decide that?"

**I'll sing it one last time for you  
then we really have to go  
you've been the only thing that's right  
in all I've done  
**

"You've forgotten, _mate_. I'm still the Doctor, the Lonely God, Avenging Angel. I don't really like the last one, but it still counts. I'm the top of the mountain, alone; where no-one can reach me."

"She'll die, Doctor. D'you want me to tell you?" Adam held Rose's slashed wrist in front of the Doctor's panicked face, "I can feel her heartbeat getting slower." He put his own hand on her chest and the Doctor stepped forwards slightly, "I can feel the dull thud. You can see the life ebbing out of her." The Doctor looked at her slumped figure, yes; he could see her life draining away. "You've got about thirty minutes before she dies completely and becomes wiped out of time and space. Then you never will be able to get her back! Is that what you want? To be her killer?"

The Doctor's blood pounded around him and he shuddered, agonising seconds wasted deciding on their outcomes. What the hell else could he do? There was nothing else left to lose anymore. Seeing the slow drip of her blood on the floor resounded in the Doctor's memory. The splashing sound it made as it joined into a puddle. It nearly killed him. He was helpless. What else could he do? He opened his mouth, not really knowing what to say.

"I'll need my ship back, then."

**And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here**

Adam's gradual smile sickened his soul. The Doctor felt disgusted with himself for conceding to demands but he knew it was the only thing to do. Adam's smirk grew into a full on evil grin as he held Rose's head up to the Doctor's eye line, Adam spoke to Rose's sleeping figure, "Well now, Rose, seems your Doctor has a weak spot. We'll make good use of it, yes?" He kissed her cheek and the Doctor growled, making for Adam. "Ah, I wouldn't if I were you. I can make her suffer even more."

He asked through gritted teeth, "What d'you want me to do?"

"I want you to go back to when the Sycorax found me out. It's the earliest you can go, that's when this all started. I want my life back."

"Give me back the vortex energy. I want my TARDIS back."

Adam gestured with his arm, "Go over to the conduit, unlock the sub-frame, type in the code 827347 and stand the hell back, whatever you do." The Doctor raced over to the open conduit and ran his sonic screwdriver over it. Adam scooped Rose over his shoulder shakily and watched as he worked. Finally, the Doctor typed in the code and stood back as familiar turquoise light bled from the computer screen. It formed into four sharp lines in a rectangle before the Doctor, the shape becoming 3 dimensional.

**Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear**

The features of the TARDIS stood out now, the panels, the handles and the light on top. Everything came together in a sudden burst of white and the Doctor grinned. His TARDIS, his beautiful machine was back!

Still grinning ear to ear, the Doctor pushed open the door to his oldest friend and Adam fell inside behind him with Rose still limp and pale in his arms. The Doctor ran around the console like a giddy school-boy who'd just gotten a lollipop for free. He powered up the machine and found the pleasing pulsating thrum coming from the old girl. He greeted her silently, her interior still the same as ever, running his palms over the columns in a hello. The TARDIS suddenly bleeped at him, getting his attention and the Doctor saw Rose's body on her rapist's shoulder. "You're right, old girl. We can't let him have her anymore. I need to get her back."

"What? Like I told you, Doctor, she's not leaving me. She's too valuable."

The Doctor shouted, "I'm giving you what you want! Now you give her back to me! I've lost her too many times; I can't lose her again because of some stupid little boy! I want her back! I'm dangerous, Adam. You don't want to mess with me, you said it yourself." His breathing was as laboured as Rose's. "Now, give her to me." Adam didn't move. The Doctor aimed the sonic screwdriver at Adam's heart. "Give Rose back to me."

**Louder, louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say**  
**To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do**


	10. Memories of a Killer

Thanks for sticking with me! I've been in shock since Saturday and needed a bit of a breather! This is dedicated to Laced-With-Fire, thank you for reviewing loads, I love nice reviews!

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Memories of a Killer

The Doctor aimed the sonic screwdriver at Adam's heart. "Give Rose back to me." Adam's eyes locked onto the Doctor's own. Adam tossed the pocket knife away, into the far reaches of the TARDIS. The Doctor was breathing heavily still and his hand shook at repressed fury. Adam's eyes darted down to the Doctor's shaking hand and back up to his face. A knowing glint sparked and he came closer to the Doctor, voice relaxed.

"Do it then." The Doctor didn't move, frozen to the spot. "Come on. It's what you want to do; I can see it in your eyes. You want to kill me."

The Doctor nodded and smiled. "Yes, I do. I want to rip you limb from limb. I want to destroy you for hurting her."

Adam laughed. "Thank God! That's the first real thing you've said to me all night. I believe you. You want to kill me and I understand why." He swung Rose's wilted form to the grated floor gently but stood in front of her. "It's because you wanted to protect her but you were too late. That guilt is what'll eat you up forever."

His hand stopped shaking momentarily. "I promised Jackie I'd keep her safe."

"Nothing lasts forever, you know it. Maybe too well, but you know it."

"You're not gonna stop me Adam."

He advanced further into the Doctor's space and the sonic screwdriver was now digging into Adam's chest. "Kill me then." The Doctor did nothing. He was frozen again. "Do it. You wanted revenge, well this is it. Take your best shot."

**  
Tell me of all the things I've never seen.  
And it's the strange days **

**And all those echoes in between.  
It always makes me sad to be here.  
It isn't what it seems.  
I think of all the precious time I've wasted,  
while you live your life in dreams.  
**

The Doctor stared at Rose's body lying on the floor then back up to Adam. This was all a trick, the Doctor knew it. Adam knew it and was using it. "Come on, Doctor, make me scream! And bleed! And beg for mercy! Show me what you're made of!" He came even closer and whispered in the Doctor's ear, "because then you get to stay in your little make-believe world where revenge can cure guilt. But deep down, you know as well as I do that she'd never forgive you for killing an un-armed man. A man who surrendered."

The Doctor's eyebrows raised and his eyes widened. "It won't stop me from coming back for you one day."

"I wouldn't expect it to. In fact, I'd be surprised if it did." Adam stared at the confusion in the Doctor's face, "this is what you are. This is who you are. You kill un-armed and innocent people for the greater good. You're just like me."

The Doctor exploded, "I am nothing like you! I make sacrifices because I have to!"

"What then, am I a sacrifice for your campaign! What's killing me going to achieve other than revenge! Rose'd hate you for the rest of her life, however long that'd be."

"Maybe it's worth it to see you suffer."

"You kill me and then you'd lose her." He stepped away from the Doctor, over Rose. His arms splayed out in a mock surrender. "I'm not armed. Rose is safe. But you're still pointing that thing at me. If you kill me now, how does that make you better than me?"

**How much more there is in me.  
I'm in a blind rage for all the feelings that I need.  
If I could find some hope tomorrow  
then I'll hear you scream.  
I can't believe the words you're saying**

**The truth means no more to me.  
**

_Damnit, Damnit, Damnit! Why am I listening to this!_ The Doctor raged at himself inside his own head. _He's right, for one thing. I may not like it but it's still true._ The Doctor lowered the sonic screwdriver carefully down to his side again and stared at Adam's relieved face. A thought suddenly struck him. "How did you know about Rose swallowing pills?"

Adam looked at him, startled, "What?"

"How did you find out? Rose wouldn't tell you something like that; she knows that you'd use it. But you knew; so how did you find out?"

Adam looked away, "maybe I've just got good instincts."

"And maybe I'm the Queen of Sheba; although I might be the King after that trip a few years ago. But the only one with good instincts around here is me and mine are saying that you're not telling the whole truth. So, out with it."

Adam shrugged, "you wouldn't believe me."

"Well no, but I can still find out the truth. Time Lords have this trick. I can see into your memories. I can find out the truth without having you talk to me."

Adam was incredulous and raised his voice loud enough to wake the dead, "You wanna walk around inside my head! No way!"

The Doctor smiled, "Fine then, I know you wanna tell me but I won't believe it and this is the only other way but if you're sure…" Adam gritted his teeth, knowing what the outcome would be.

**Nothing ever lasts forever.  
It's the same for you I'm sure.  
All the things we did together,  
they just hurt me more and more.**

The Doctor placed his hands on Adam's temple and closed his eyes. He saw an image in his head; a piece of paper with an address written on in a messy black scrawl. It said Rose's name and an address he didn't know. He saw Adam getting out of an old battered car and walk up the street, glancing at the address on the paper. The street was dingy, with needles on the floor, broken glass and graffiti everywhere; the Doctor grimaced at the thought of Rose having to live somewhere this bad. Adam looked up at the last house on the road and opened the gate. He knocked on the badly painted front door a few times and waited and waited but no reply came. He walked round to the back of the dank property and peered through the kitchen window.

"Hello? Rose?" Adam called as he went to the French doors at the back of the house and tried pulling them open. They slid open with flakes of rust flying in his hair. Adam went through the kitchen and looked upstairs, calling for Rose again and again but not getting any response. Adam headed up the rickety bare wood stairs cautiously, still calling. Seeing a crack of light, Adam pushed open the door to the bathroom. What the Doctor saw there made his hearts stop in pure shock. Rose was lying unconscious on the bathroom floor with empty pill bottles all around her. The Doctor saw the bottle labels, powerful sedatives, anti depressants and aspirin. An aspirin overdose was painful, massive stomach pains for hours. A slow and excruciating death. Adam rushed over to Rose's form and felt her pulse. For the Doctor, everything went in slow motion, Adam frantically dialling the phone, ambulances and airbags and hospitals and stomach pumps. Doctors in Adam's face, asking if he knew her, asking who he was. Adam running away, scared from them.

The Doctor broke the connection frantically, panicked, staring at Adam who was looking over at Rose. Finally, and with a dry throat and shocked expression, The Doctor stuttered at Adam, "That…that's…that's how…you know? About Rose?" Adam just nodded, "You know because you…you saved her life."

**Nothing ever lasts forever.  
It's the same for you I'm sure.  
Although like now they seem like never.  
They'll meet another open door**

**

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**

**A/N **The twist here was inspired by Cara, so honourable mention goes to her! Thank you for unleashing my creative side upon the world...


	11. Your Faith, Her Life

Once again, thank you for reading and reviewing. I feel so blessed.

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Your Faith, Her Life

The Doctor stepped back in shock and noticed that his fingertips felt as if they were on fire, the blazing burn of a thousand unanswered questions. "You've got to be lying." He said quietly

"You know as well as I do that I'm not…"

"But you have to be!" The Doctor cut across, anger seeping through him, "Why the hell would you save her life! It doesn't make sense!" He stepped up to the young boy, studying him, "You could've left her to die or forced more pills down her throat or slashed her wrists… but you saved her."

"Yes."

"I don't understand! I thought here I had you all bloody figured out then you go and show me a thing like that…You saved her life." The Doctor added, almost grim before flailing his arms around and coming nose to nose with Adam. "Why the hell did you have to hurt her, then! Why are you killing her now!" Adam didn't answer, stunned into silence by the madman's outburst. "Tell me why!"

His eyes darkened over the Doctor and stepped back, standing behind Rose's still unconscious form, "Why? I'll tell you why, because I know you. I know what this would do to you!"

"What?"

"I saw my opportunity when I found her there, nearly dead. I saw a way. A way to make you keep me alive."

**He was always such a nice boy**

**The quiet one **

**With good intentions**

**He was down for his brother**

**Respectful to his mother**

**A good boy**

**But good don't get attention**

"You manipulating little…you did this to wind up my conscience!" The Doctor's anger flared, bubbling up like a volcano inside him and his eyes grew wide in fury.

"Doctor, you won't kill me because I saved her life, it's simple and as complicated as that." Adam said coolly

"It doesn't just wipe away what you've done to her! She's on the floor dying because of you! It's because of you that she'll wake up screaming night after night!"

"Then do as I ask. Change it back, set it right. Make it so none of these things happened."

The Doctor's eyes locked with Adam's, "I need to make sure she's safe."

"I'll take her to the infirmary then. I spose you still have the Med Bay."

The Doctor groaned, annoyed "You know, I've never heard a stupider question in my life…"

Adam picked up Rose and his pocket knife. "It's more stupid, not stupider."

The Doctor growled, pointing down one corridor of the TARDIS. "Second door on the left."

Adam opened the door and threw Rose down onto the nearest bed. The room was a bright and gleaming pale blue, but a trail of Rose's red blood caught the Doctor's eye. It led to Adam, looking up; knife bared "You know, for a supposed genius, you aren't half an idiot."

The Doctor slammed the door shut.

**One kid with a promise**

**The brightest kid in school**

**He's not a fool**

**Reading books about science and smart stuff**

**It's not enough, no**

**Cause smart don't make you cool **

The Doctor attached endless reams of monitors to Rose's body. Adam watched him carefully, knife at Rose's throat, threatening to plunge in. The Doctor cut Rose's shirt off her gently, seething inside at the lust filled look on Adam's face. That bastard had touched her, violated her skin with his hands and now he was doing the same with his eyes. They raked over her body and the Doctor saw his free hand inching slowly towards her. It was an inch above her body before the Doctor caught his wrist tightly, painfully. "You touch her now and I promise I won't have a problem with killing you. Slowly and painfully."

His hand detached from Adam's wrist and it reseeded away from her vulnerable body. The Doctor went back to her stomach, touching the deep gash with his fingertips lightly. It wasn't bleeding a lot now but she still was in deep trouble. He picked up a scanner, placing his fingertips on the scanner with Rose's blood and them. It beeped angrily at him. Type O. She needed a transfusion; she'd lost four pints of blood, enough to kill a human. He ran the dermal regenerator over her whole body. It healed her bruises, her wounds that he wouldn't dare touch knowing that Adam had hurt her there. The mere thought made him seethe ice cold anger from the inside out; it killed him knowing what had happened. Adam looked up at the Doctor, an evil smile crossing his face as the stomach wound disappeared.

The Doctor's mind was made up in a split second.

**They were crying to the camera Said he never fitted in**

**He wasn't welcomed He showed up the parties**

**We was hanging in**

**Some guys puttin' him down bullying him round round**

**Now I wish I woulda talked to him gave him the time of day**

**Not turn away**

**If I woulda been the one to maybe go this far**

**He might have stayed at home playing angry chords on his guitar**

An IV was inserted carefully into Rose's vein and the Doctor watched the slow drip of her blood going back into her body. "I take it you're finished."

His voice was flat and his eyes bore into Rose's skin. "For now. She'll need another couple of bags before she wakes up."

Adam stood up, facing the Doctor, "You've got some time to kill, then."

The Doctor sensed where this was going, "I'm not leaving her."

"Yes you are; you're going to put history back to how it should be, you're going to put it right."

"I'm not leaving her!" The Doctor bellowed at him. "I can't anyway, she needs more blood."

"Which is why I'll be staying with her. Can't risk a paradox, can we?" The Doctor stared at Adam once more, his knife still pressed against her body.

"I can't leave you with her, you'll hurt her. Again."

"You don't have much choice, Doctor. Now either you go change it back and have her safe or force me to do something I don't want to do." Silence. The Doctor didn't move or speak as the quiet infected everything. "I spose this is you test of faith, isn't it? Can you trust a killer, Doctor?"

**Mary's got the same size hands **

**As Marilyn Monroe**

**She put her fingers in the imprints**

**At Mann's Chinese Theatre Show**

**She coulda been a movie star**

**Never got the chance to go that far**

**Her life was stole **

**Now we'll never know**


	12. Deafening Silence

Hiya, I just wanted to thank anyone out there who's read and reviewed this fic, because I'm dedicating it to you. Nice reviews always give me inspiration to write (hint hint) so I hope you enjoy what you all have put into.

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Deafening Silence

In his head, Adam's knife seemed to press harder into her vulnerable, pale, perfect flesh. The Doctor stood staring at Rose's helpless form. He had to do this; he needed to wipe her pain away, to prevent it from happening. He couldn't live with himself if he had let her go through this. He had to reverse it. Even if it meant the possible collapse of the universe, he would do it for Rose. The Doctor's gaze burnt into Adam's cool steely exterior and Adam's hand trembled. He was just a boy, barely Rose's age, and he was a killer. The Doctor wouldn't wish that on anyone; to know what it was like to kill. His back straightened and he didn't flinch at Adam's study f him. "I don't _have_ a choice. This is the only way."

Adam nodded sharply. "It has to be like this."

The Doctor realised Adam was a boy hardened by the stench of death, running through his own veins. A virus the Doctor himself had started in his system. The Doctor found that his voice turned monotonous, "keep an eye on the transfusion; I need to put in the co-ordinates. What was the date they took you?"

Adam still studied him; signs of bluff didn't register into Adam's receptors, "May. 28th May 2011." The Doctor just walked out; leaving a killer he had created to watch over the woman he loved.

**Everybody's talking  
But they don't say a thing  
They look at me with sad eyes  
But I don't want the sympathy  
Its cool you didn't want me  
Sometimes you can't go back**

The steps he it took to take him to the control room echoed in his ears. Time seemed to slow and his senses froze. He was about to change something that perhaps he shouldn't do but he had to do it. There wasn't any other way around it. He knew Rose wouldn't be strong enough to hold on. Even if she recovered physically…it just wouldn't be enough. She was strong, his Rose, but no-one could bear that sort of pain. The deep rooted pain he knew she'd be in day after day, night after night. It was too much even for him to think about. God only knows what Rose would have to go through and he simply couldn't let her suffer like that, it'd eat and eat at his core until it exploded. No. He knew what had to be done, he just resented the fact it was his job to do it. Time Lords apparently don't get perks of the job. His head slowly shifted up and he set in Adam's co-ordinates. The TARDIS console beeped desperately at him as the co-ordinates were recognised. "Yes I know, but it's the only way to do this, old girl." A message flashed again on the screen.

_You want to do this? You know what the repercussions are, Theta._

"Yes, I know. But I can't let it happen."

_She might pull through, yet, where is your faith in her?_

"I have faith! No-one could survive that!"

_You underestimate her. She could work through this._

"How would you know that? She's not strong enough to support herself!"

_But she has your support. Why won't you let her prove herself?_

**Have you ever been low?  
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?  
When the truth came out  
Were you the last to know?  
Were you left out in the cold?  
What you did was low**

His stance wavered and he held onto a beam. "I…I can't…"

_You just want an easy way out. You don't want to fight for her, save her from the darkness. You want to wipe it all away and pretend it never happened._

His voice lost its rationality, he exploded at his beloved machine, "What's wrong with that! Yeah, I wanna wipe it all away! Tell me what's so bloody messed up with that?"

_It's wrong because you know it is. She will pull through. I can see it in her. The need to survive, the wanting in her soul is all I can feel. She needs to be with you again. You just can't see it._

"She's only human. It won't be enough for her to pull through. Now, please would you do as I ask? Take me there so I can do my job."

_It won't just fade away…you'll remember it. You won't be affected by the change._

"I know. But she's more important than me…"

_Yes but I can't land there easily. It's a massive risk._

"I have to take that risk. I'm sorry. Just do it, please." No messages accompanied the groaning whining engines but he knew the TARDIS was still protesting. The floor began to shake wildly, the column scraping the sides and sparks flying everywhere, burning the Doctor's hand. Payback, he supposed. The shudders turned violent and the floor lurched beneath his feet, he felt the tremors in his head, the TARDIS still going against it, against him. He heard swearing loudly coming from a door behind him but he ignored Adam's own complaints and settled for turning knobs, flicking switches frantically, trying to get her stable. The TARDIS lurched again.

**I walk out of this darkness  
With no sense of regret  
And I go with a clear conscience  
We both know that you can't say that  
Here's to show  
For all the time I loved you so…**

The Doctor rushed around frantically, pushing down levers, anything to get her stable, but nothing worked. The floor grew shakier and he tripped, hitting his own head on the edge of the console. He shook the pain from his head and set about the control again, trying combination after combination of levers, switches and knobs. It made her worse. The TARDIS lurched more violently and he heard sickening cracking and crashing sounds coming from somewhere deep in the depths of his machine. Adam's yells filled his ears but he ignored them, Adam didn't matter to him. He only had two cares in this world and his TARDIS needed him.

The Doctor slipped again as the shakes intensified, slamming his whole body onto the rough grated surface. He stood up carefully as the tremors died down now, cursing to himself and studying his throbbing hands. Little cuts had seeped blood through his skin, causing his own blood to merge into his palms. He stared at them as the ancient groans levelled out. The angry scarlet blood pulsed and pushed through the tiny gaps, filling his cupped hands slowly. Running back to the Med Bay, he rubbed his hands together, the blood spreading across both of them, like hand paint in the violent colour red of his blood. He pushed open the door with his elbows. His breathing became laboured and it had nothing to do with his hands.

All the blood and anger and hatred inside of him were pushed deep back into his mind as he heard the sudden furious beeps of her heart monitor. Then everything went silent.

**When the truth came out  
Were you the last to know?  
Were you left out in the cold?  
What you did was low  
Have you ever been low?  
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?  
Coz what you did was low**

**

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**A/N **DUN DUN DUN! (okay that was naf) Sorry bout the cliffhanger :) I promiseI'll update soon!


	13. Bright Angel

Dedicated to Cara, muse and title bearer. (anyone who reads this will you please review this chapter? Pretty please?)

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Bright Angel

Fear was becoming familiar to him now. The fear and anger and betrayal he felt as he saw her body lying on the floor was too real. It felt wrong to see her like that. He froze and fell to his knees beside her, threading his fingers through her own, clinging onto her for dear life. The irony stung at him, a thorn in his side. The bag had split and blood was seeping near her head and it glistened, rippling along the floor to the Doctor's fallen knees. His hand became tighter in hers and pain rippled through him, a physical pain unnoticed by him. Pain didn't matter anymore, how could anything matter? As he released her hand slowly, he saw her palm reddened with his own blood. His thumb caressed her cheek and his own bloody mark was left there. He was leaving a trail, sharing the blood and death with her, for the Doctor was already dead.

Gingerly, he fingered the small gap in her arm where precious blood had been given back to her. She wasn't scarred anymore, she wasn't in pain; something he could be glad of, at least. It didn't help him much. He pressed his whole hand into the tiny pinprick, wishing, hoping, praying for a pulse. Nothing came. He hand throbbed now as his angry damaged blood seeped out again, onto Rose's skin. His head lay on her chest and he felt the more hurtful hollow feeling enter his body.

**Hearts are worn in these dark ages  
You're not alone in this story's pages  
Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying  
And I try to hold it in, yeah I try to hold it in**

His hand loosened its grip on her arm but never left her. _Thud. _The Doctor's head snapped up and he placed his bloody hands on her chest. _Thud. _The Doctor nearly exploded with joy! A pulse, she had a pulse. Weak and thready but it was a pulse. A heartbeat! Such a wonderful sound! A miracle of touch. But it was feeble, clinging onto mere hope. He looked at Rose's arm and saw his bloody handprint on her white skin. Maybe, just maybe. Did he dare to wish? Did he dare to hope? Did Rose dare to dream? With two hands on her head, he entered her mind.

His whole body convulsed and it felt as if he was being jerked forwards. Opening eyes he didn't know he'd closed. He saw a bright green field, clear blue sky. And a girl, a girl dressed in white, shimmering satins, silks and lace that whipped around her body without a breeze. Her brown hair hung long around her slim face and her delicate features split into an ethereal smile as she saw him. Her voice was calm and it sang to him, a beautiful, wishing song. When she spoke, all his nerves stood on end, "Hello. Nice to see you've finally made it then."

He looked around, confused, "I'm sorry but who are you. Do you know me?"

"Oh, I should say so." A playful grin danced across her face. He recognized the glint in her eyes. Still his eyes searched around the green meadow.

**I watch the heavens and I find a calling  
Something I can do to change this moment  
Stay close to me while the sky is falling  
Don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone**

"Where's Rose?"

Her grin faded rapidly and she walked up to him, slowly, almost gliding. "Rose isn't here. Rose is somewhere else. The woman you love is nowhere near here."

"Who are you?"

Her silvery glowing eyes locked onto his, "My name is Cara. My name has always been Cara; it's what Rose has given to me as a gift."

"Okay then, next question; what are you?"

"Oh. You don't know, then?"

"Obviously not, so tell me."

Her head cocked to one side, "I'm her Bright Angel."

Denial flooded him and he stepped back from the glowing woman, "You can't be. Bright Angels are a myth."

Mock accused, she stood back, "Hey, I'm not an alien or a mutant or anything wrong. I'm her hope. I'm Rose's hope, bottled up in one neat little package!" Her smile grew as he realised.

"You're what she feels then? You're what gives her hope. But she should be here. Where is Rose?"

Her features hardened and she looked up into the blue sky. "Rose is in the dark place, the place of loneliness and fear and depravity and death." The blue sky turned black at her words. "She was sent there by the one who hurt her, gave her shame and made her want death to claim her."

"Adam." He muttered.

Her head snapped to meet his "That name makes the darkness consume her! That name gives her fear! That name will not let her forget, won't let her move on!" He head snapped again to the sky, "I am the only thing she has left, I'm built of the one thing she clings on to and he is wiping it away!"

"Hope." He muttered again.

He expected her head to snap again but she kept staring at the blackened sky, "No, her hope has nearly gone. I'm built on one thing he cannot destroy."

"What's that?"

"Love." She said simply.

**Hearts break, hearts mend  
Love still hurts  
Visions clash, planes crash  
Still there's talk of  
Saving souls, still the cold  
Is closing in on us  
**

"You know, don't you?" He said to her, "you know how she survived."

She looked at him, sadly, "Yes. I know." The sky returned to bright blue as she sighed and stared at him, "Your blood saved her." He stared at his bloody palms, "You shed blood because you wanted to save her. Blood given in love. The regenerative properties helped her body. It took away her injuries."

He shook his head at Cara, "But that's not possible."

She waved a hand at him, "Anything's possible. She already knows your DNA from the vortex, so it helped her body accept the changes." Her grey eyes on his were judging, "But there is more, so much more needed to help her. Your blood, it healed her body…" she trailed off.

His own head snapped towards the sky now, knowing, "But not her mind."

She nodded solemnly, "It will take a lot more than Time Lord blood to help her heal. She will suffer and you will take revenge."

He looked at the ethereal girl. She looked no more than fifteen, like Rose. So young, so fresh and vibrant. Rose's hope and love was being sucked in by the darkness. Darkness created by hate and pain and fear from one man. So much pain Adam had created. The Doctor shook his head at her, "No, she won't suffer. I won't let her suffer."

He gazed at the bright blue neon sky, so Rose in the brightness. He muttered to the green grass at his feet, bloody hands clenched into fists again. "But I will get revenge."

**We part the veil on our killer sun  
Stray from the straight line on this short run  
The more we take, the less we become  
A fortune of one that means less for some**

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A/N even I didn't see this coming and I'm writing the thing LOL. Updating soon...


	14. Hope's Fears

Massive, massive thanks to everyone for all the positive feedback! And very great thanks to Cara for all her help! BTW a list of the songs used so far is at the bottom of this page for anyone intrested!

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Hope's Fears

Suddenly, the grassy ground beneath the Doctor's feet jolted and they both fell into a heap on the floor. Laying flat on his back, he stared above him as the fluffy cotton clouds turned grey and then jet black. The clouds took over the comforting incandescent blue and made it angry. Clouds were still seeping into the sky, making it dark and unsettling for his eyes. The Doctor sat up, still staring at the sky, mouth agape and eyes wide open. Cara was now glancing at the Doctor, as he turned to look at her he realised that something bad was happening. "I'm sorry." She said to him, in an almost whisper.

The violent shade of darkness had dripped and dripped onto the ground at his feet. Meadows and trees and grass were becoming infected with sinister blackness, leaving nothing of their former light in its wake. The Doctor backed away from the seeping black blood but Cara had stood frozen to the spot, arms stretched out in front of her. He stared at the bleak surroundings that Cara had become encapsulated in. The Doctor tried backing away and away from it but it caught up with him. As he stood, surrounded by darkness he wondered why Cara was still staring at her arms.

**When I counted up my demons,  
Saw there was one for everyday.  
With the good ones on my shoulder,  
I drove the other ones away.  
**

There was now no colour. There was now no life. There was now nothing. But the Bright Angel still stood, gazing at her own arms. The Doctor stepped cautiously onto the ground and made his way towards her. As her face came into view, he felt the ground pulse and throb. His voice was quiet and scared even to his own ears, "Cara, what happened? What's wrong?"

She looked at him briefly, mere nanoseconds, but in those few moments he saw that the glint of silver and mischief in her eyes had been replaced by sadness and grief. She went back to staring at her arms, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Something's happening on the outside, Rose is awake."

"Then I've got to get back to her."

She ignored his harsh tones and chuckled morbidly to herself, "She's awake and you're not there. This is her worst nightmare….but it can't be just that. She's more than scared, more than angry, so much more." Her eyes flicked forwards and the form of the Doctor, unconscious on the floor surrounded by blood appeared, cutting through the black. The Doctor stepped back from Cara, staring at him self.

"What…what is that?"

"This is the sum of her fears." Her head turned to his healthy body next to hers, "this is what she's seeing now. The one thing she's scared to death of. Literally."

A tiny splinter of light in the depths of the grief cut through and widened, the Doctor stared at the Bright Angel, so confused and panicked. Cara took a deep breath and said "This is what she's seeing now. This is what's happening as we speak."

**So if you ever feel neglected,  
And if you think all is lost,  
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,  
Hoping everything's not lost.  
**

The scene in front of his eyes burned inside him, imprinting itself on him like so many before it. Rose was shaking, blood soaked and blank as Adam crouched over the Doctor's unconscious form, touching his neck. Adam's cold voice echoed around the room, "_He's dead, sweetheart. He's not coming back. No pulse, not even the tiniest tremor." _He laughed, cold and harsh and came over to Rose, curled into a corner, face blank.

She spoke, so quiet and broken it sent a chill down the Doctor's spine. "_There's nothing left. There's nothing left anymore."_

"_He's dead, no blood left in him now." _Adam lied, _"He can't regenerate without blood. He didn't even land us anywhere before he bled to death. It looks like it's just you and me, love…forever."_ When he reached out a shaking hand to touch Rose's cheek, she flinched ever so slightly but didn't move anywhere to get away from Adam. The Doctor's blood boiled as he watched the sickening scene in front of him fade out to nothingness.

Turning back to look at Cara, he saw the stricken look of agony on her face and ran to her. She gripped onto his arm tightly and her breathing became laboured and frenzied as she spoke to him "This is the end, she's lost all her hope again, there's nothing left for her anymore! Can't you see! Everything you've ever given her is being sapped away from her again!"

**When you thought that it was over,  
You could feel it all around.  
Everybody's out to get you,  
Don't you let it drag you down.  
**

Cara turned to face him. As her torso turned, the Doctor saw a mesh of holes in her stomach and chest. Her face painted a picture of agonizing pain.

The Doctor knew what was happening. "Rose's hope is disappearing and so are you." Cara just nodded as her grip on his arm strengthened.

"Everything! Everything good is leaving her!" Cara gripped his arm painfully as the holes in her torso became bigger. Pain was now so apparent on her face, teeth gritted and fists clenched.

"It's wrong! This can't be happening!"

"It is! All the things your presence ever gave her are being zapped away again! All the love, hope, joy! Everything she wanted for her future with you is being drained from her by him! I can't let this happen again!"

"Again? What d'you mean again?"

She shook her head and smiled lightly, "He was right about you, you're thick as two planks!" She straightened carefully, looking him in the eye. "This is what happened before. This is what happened to her when you abandoned her, just leaving her in more agony because you couldn't face her pain. He may be evil, Doctor, but he's right."

**If you ever feel neglected,  
And if you think all is lost.  
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,  
Hoping everything's not lost.**

The Doctor struggled to voice his fears, "This is why she tried…why she took…"

She nodded, "Why she tried to take her own life. She tried because she couldn't face life without you. It's the same thing now! With every word, every touch he gives her! It just kills her a little bit more! Soon you won't be able to get her back." The mesh of holes in the Bright Angel's stomach had now grown and formed together. All that was left of her stomach was one great gaping hole. Her face slackened and her grip on his arm faded to nothing. Her breathing was heavy, she was grasping onto life; he froze in fear as he saw the colour drain out of her face.

"Tell me quickly, Cara! How do I get back!" No reply came as she tried to straighten up. "Cara! Tell me! You have to tell me how I get back!" Her head slumped downwards and her breathing was faster and labored as she grimaced in fiery pain, "Cara! Answer me! How do I get back to her!" Her head snapped up, eyes fierce with agony, "Cara, how do I get back!"

"You can't." She answered stonily as her knees gave way, hitting the grim floor with an echoing thud.

**If you ever feel neglected,  
And if you think all is lost.  
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,  
Hoping everything's not lost.**

* * *

ALWAYS: BON JOVI. **TOO LOST IN YOU: SUGABABES**. SHE WILL BE LOVED: MAROON FIVE. **SPOILED: JOSS STONE.** NO BRAVERY: JAMES BLUNT. **BECAUSE OF YOU: KELLY CLARKSON.** YOU GOTTA BE: DESREE. **MY IMMORTAL: EVANESSENCE**. RUN: SNOW PATROL. **REVENGE: SLAVE**. STOLE: KELLY ROWLAND. **LOW: KELLY CLARKSON**. WORLD'S ON FIRE: SARAH MCLACHLAN. **EVERYTHING'S NOT LOST: COLDPLAY. **


	15. Falling Into You

This chapter is for Jen, whose review made me smile for hours after reading it. And I would like to apologize to Jess, apparantly I gave this reviewer a heart attack after chapter 12. Reviews are, as always welcomed, please enjoy and don't die on me, I'm not finished yet...

* * *

Falling Into You

The Doctor fell to his knees before her and pressed two slender fingers under her drooped chin, bringing her head upwards. Her pallid eyes met his and he finally saw that she was scared. Her voice was a trembling whisper to his ears. "You can't."

"I have to. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

She laughed lightly and brought her meshed hand to cup his face, "You say that a lot but do you really mean it?"

"I do now, Cara, please, I have…"

She cut him off, placing two shaking fingers on his lips, "I know you have to do this, Doctor, but you have to realize what this will do." He nodded solemnly to her, eyes dropping to the dark floor. "Don't." She snapped, "Don't you dare feel guilty, this is just what you have to do." Her fingers descended from his lips and both of her hands braced against his chest. Her silvery eyes closed as he slowly leaned in and pressed his lips to her pale, cold ones. His head filled with hurt and fear, threatening to consume him but he pushed past it. This was for Rose and nothing was too big a sacrifice to get back to her. His whole body jerked once again as he kissed the remaining power from Cara's lips.

**Notice me**

**Take my hand **

**Why are we strangers when **

**Our love is strong **

**Why carry on without me?**

The first thing he noticed was humming. That same soft hum that had once tried to comfort him now just filled him with fear. _It shouldn't be this silent_, he thought. Forcing his eyes open, he found that everything was blurred and bright. Pain creeped in from the sudden brightness and his head swam with dizziness. Sitting up slowly, he found that he had been dumped by the side of a swimming pool, dangerously close to falling inside the watery depths and drowning. Cautiously, he got to his feet and sprinted to the door, throwing it open and finding himself with the cold metal flooring of the TARDIS corridors. He ran faster than his own toned legs could carry him to the control room. Hearts beating thunder in his chest, he ran and ran the endless corridor, wishing to his machine that he could find it quicker. "Please, please, please…" his whispered prayers followed his rushed footsteps and the TARDIS listened to his entreaty. The next corner he rounded made him skid to an abrupt halt. Blood was still pounding through his aching muscles as he stopped and felt the acidic burn as he saw the console.

**I make believe **

**That you are here **

**It's the only way **

**I see clear **

**What have I done?**

**You seem to move on easy **

He breathed a deep sigh of relief as he saw everything looked intact. He needed his beautiful contraption to find his Rose, she could be anywhere. And the scumbag could be with her. "Please, please, where is Rose? Tell me, please!" His white clenched fist thumped down menacingly on the console rim and she beeped at him angrily as a message popped up on the screen.

_I know you love her but could you not man handle me. It's very off putting._

"I'm sorry but I need to find her before it's too late. Where is she?

_Rose isn't with him but it's bad, Theta, so very bad. Hurry. She's in the room where Adam used to sleep._

The Doctor stepped back in fear from the screen; voice a whisper, quiet and afraid. "No…" He ran once again, acid burning him from the inside out. The fire increased, his muscles screamed at him to stop but still he pushed them on further and further. He couldn't stop, wouldn't stop. Needed Rose, needed her so badly to be safe, to be happy. His blood pounded harder in his ears as he darted to find her. He slowed as he came to the door and opened it slowly. His hearts feared again as he found her slumped against the farthest wall, eyes devoid of any flicker of Rose he had once known. The Doctor's footsteps pounded against the floor and Rose's eyes widened as he came nearer to her, dropping to her level. Her wide brown eyes looked at him in disbelief, "No. No, you're dead. You're dead. You're not here." Her head tilted up slightly as she yelled at him, "You're dead!"

His eyes stung with tears threatening to spill, "I'm not dead, Rose, I'm not dead. I'm here! I'm here for you please…" He reached out to envelope her in his arms but she pressed herself further into the walls. He felt his soul crack as she flinched back from his touch.

**I may have made it rain **

**Please forgive me **

**My weakness caused you pain **

**And this song's my sorry **

Her head shook harshly again and again, small sobs wracking her body. "No, please, no. You're him. You're going to hurt me again. You're hurting me again, nothing left. There's nothing left anymore…"

"I'm not Adam!" She curled up into a ball, digging her nails into her shins, ripping through the denim like paper, onto her bare skin. "I'm the Doctor, your Doctor! You're my Rose…my beautiful Rose…I'm your Doctor."

She shook her head furiously in denial, "Not him. The Doctor's dead. He's dead, you're Adam. The Doctor's not coming back, not coming back…"

He looked deeply into her eyes, "But I'm here, I'm here now, Rose. Please, I'm here for you now. You're safe with me…please come back to me, Rose I need you. I love you."

Rose's breath hitched as the words escaped his mouth. Slowly, she raised her head and her eyes locked into his. Shaking, Rose stood up and her hand gripped his blood stained arm and lightly squeezed. Her eyes questioned him and studied his own. Her voice was hushed and nervous, "D…Doctor?"

He grinned maniacally at her and the tears sprung free, "I'm here…it's me…"

"Doctor?" She said, a little more forceful, filling him to the brim with hope.

"Yes! Yes, it's me; I'm not leaving you for anything. My Rose…" Her hand slid down his arm to grasp his tightly and she was wound inside his arms, sobbing quietly. "I'm here,"

"And so am I." A darkened voice spoke from the doorway and Rose reclined back against the wall once more.

**At night I pray **

**That soon your face will fade away **

**Everytime I try to fly, I fall **

**Without my wings, I feel so small **

**I guess I need you, baby **

**Everytime I see you in my dreams **

**I see your face, you're haunting me **

**I guess I need you, baby. **


	16. Far From Home

Wow. I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter because, as I'm writing this, it has 8 reviews which is the most I've ever got for a chapter in this story. For all your hard work, this is your reward...

* * *

Far From Home

The Doctor stood, standing himself in front of Rose. His hands curled into fists at the fury he felt coursing through his body. Adam's face was ashen white; an angry trail of caked blood led its way from his temple to his neck. He stood in the doorway, blunt nails digging into the solid wood and breathing heavily. Rose's scared whimpers filled the silent room. The two men locked each other's stares in a death grip, daring each other to move as Adam's eyes finally broke from the Doctor's and settled on Rose. A sadistic smile crept onto his face as he saw her fragile form, in torn jeans and a blood soaked t-shirt cowering against the bedroom wall. Laughing morbidly, his voice was a whisper, "I guess she's gone forever then. Can't even bare to be touched any more. I can soon put a remedy to that, if you'd like…"

Adam came out from the door frame, fist bared high as the Doctor's hand shot out, curling Adam's own fingers back on themselves, the bones crunching satisfyingly to his ears. "Now, you're going to listen to me for once. I don't care about you! You mean nothing to me! You're dirt on the bottom of my converses; but if you so much as touch a hair on her head I swear to all the powers I know that I will make damn sure that you have no reason to live."

Adam's knees buckled under the pain, but still his smile became plastered on his face. "Believe me, Doctor; I have no intention of touching her hair…not on her head at least…" His laugh rang through the Doctor's body. Curling his free hand into an even tighter fist, he launched it at Adam's sunken form.

**Over the sea and far away  
She's waiting like an iceberg  
Waiting to change  
But she's cold inside  
She wants to be like the water**

Adam's jaw cracked under the force of the Doctor's blow, his body twisting away and landing in a heap next to a trembling Rose. Looking up suddenly, Adam's bruised and battered hand darted out and grabbed Rose's ankle. Screaming, she kicked at him again and again with Adam's own kicks connecting with the Doctor's shins. His face contorted and he snatched at Adam's shoulders, pulling him off her delicate skin and throwing him anywhere into oblivion. Adam's head slammed into the wall, the crack of his skull echoing. The Doctor scooped Rose's broken, shaking body into his arms and ran out the door, slamming it shut with his injured leg, trusting the TARDIS to lock it. He ran with her, trembling and crying in his arms away from Adam's shouting terrorization, "You can't keep me locked up in here forever! You've gotta let me go some time and when I do, she's the first one I'm coming after!"

The Doctor hurriedly ignored the man's hungered threats and carried Rose to the control room, to safety. Finally his feet slowed and skidded onto the familiar grated floor, the central column glowing soothingly. He clutched Rose tightly to his chest, hearing her sobbing and feeling the warming effect of her tears on his chest.

He whispered down to her, "You're safe, Rose. He can't hurt you again; I promise he will never come near you again. My Rosebud." The trembling quickened and he swore he could hear her soul breaking again, pain coming over her senses rapidly. His own tears streaked silently down his face, dripping onto Rose's golden hair, meshing in with blood. It hurt to see her so terrified but the thing that broke him was the force of her hands pushing at his chest, trying to get away from his own shaking body.

**All the muscles tighten in her face  
Buries her soul in one embrace  
They're one and the same  
Just like water **

His own tremulous arms set her down carefully onto the soft chair and stood back from her. Rose brought her knees up to her chest protectively and buried her head away from his gaze. He fell to his knees from the pain and shock of seeing her so broken, so hurt in front of him. He wiped away his own tears from his dirty face and laid a hand tentatively on her head. She jerked away from him instantly, her face now in his full view. Her chocolate brown eyes looked hollow and her tear streaked face made her beauty as fragile as porcelain to him. His voice wavered, "I'm sorry, Rose, I'm so sorry…" He swallowed down the lump in his throat, "I'll take you home."

"No." She said abruptly, looking at him.

"I have to take you home, Rose."

He was still on his knees, in torn clothing caked in dried blood. "I haven't got a home. Not anymore."

He could feel it in his gut. There was something she wasn't telling him, a reason she couldn't trust him with anything any more. He knew not to press it. "Where then?" He asked tentatively.

"She knows where to go. The TARDIS will take us there."

His held his head in his hands, raking fingers through dirty brown hair creating chasms in the locks. "This is all my fault."

"No it's not." He couldn't help but notice her voice. It was low and had no trace of emotion in it. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is! I should've seen this, I should've got there quicker! It's my job to protect you."

"You're not the one who raped me, Doctor, Adam did." Her voice wavered, breaking into silent tears again as the engines started groaning, almost in sympathy.

**Can you help me?  
Can you let me go?  
And can you still love me  
When you can't see me anymore?  
**

The groaning ceased but Rose didn't move; her shaking subsiding slightly. The Doctor felt her burning gaze on him even as he looked at the floor, still on his knees. Slowly Rose's own knees fell back from her chest and dropped down onto the cold floor. She slid down beside him and stared at his body. Quivering, her stained hand cupped underneath his chin and brought his face up to meet hers. Her head tilted slightly and her eyes looked at him imploringly. "Tell me you can make it go away."

"Rose…"

Two slender, bloodied fingers cut him off, ascending to his lips, making him taste the iron of them. "Tell me you can make it go away." The Doctor shook his head. "Tell me, please just tell me."

"I can't do that." He murmured against her fingers. "You know I can't make it go away. It doesn't work like that; I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." His head sank down as she let go of his chin, "Can you help me? Will you….will you be there for me?" Her voice wavered.

"Yes. I'll always help you, I'll be there for you for as long as you want me to be. I want to be with you." His eyes locked fiercely into hers, "I'm never leaving you again, Rosebud."

She smiled sadly, "Don't call me Rosebud, you know I hate it." Suddenly, she launched herself at him, pinning her body to his in an intense hug. Her head buried in his chest as the sobs wracked her body again, forcefully. But now she didn't push away; instead, Rose held the Doctor to her tighter as she cried into him. His chin leant on her head and he rocked her. She mumbled into his chest, "Never leave me, never leave me again. I need both of you."

Confused, he asked her quietly, "What d'you mean both of us? Rose?" The door to the TARDIS creaked open and a shadowed figure stepped in.

**And the fire fades away  
Most of everyday  
Is full of tired excuses  
But it's to hard to say **

**I wish it were simple  
But we give up easily  
You're close enough to see that  
You're the other side of the world to me**

* * *

**A/N:** I apologise for leavingit on a cliffhanger but I'm a glutton for punishment.Review, please and I shall be sated. 


	17. Never Reunited

Bit of bad news, here. I'm on holiday next week and unless I can find an internet cafe in King's Lynn then this'll be the only chapter until at least next Saturday. Sorry, I'm camping and have no electric. This is gonna have to tide you over till next week. The song here is from a 'Scrubs' episode called 'My Overkill' and the song's also called 'Overkill' by Colin Hay. It's a great song! Anyway, I'm awarding great big TARDIS shaped biscuits to those who guessed who our mystery person was...read and review as always, please. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Never Reunited

The dark silhouette approached them quietly, face obscured by the shadows. As he stepped closer he called out in a familiar American drawl, "Anyone in? Doctor? Rose?" Frozen in shock, the Doctor's eyes went wide as the man stepped into the liquid light of the TARDIS console. Jet black hair, blue eyes he knew too well but hadn't seen in so long. A man he thought he'd lost a long time ago to a better cause. Rose's head lifted up from the Doctor's chest and her gaze settled on the handsome man, face breaking into a sad smile.

"I knew you'd come." Tears rolled down her cheeks silently as he stared at her in amazement.

"Rose! What's going on?" The Doctor tightened his grip on her and a sonic blaster was produced from the man's leather trousers. "Let her go. I don't know who you are or what you've done with the Doctor but you let her go now or I'll shoot."

"You wouldn't do that to me, Captain Jack Harkness."

"What makes you so…." Jack gazed at the skinny, pale man covered in blood and tightened his grip on the blaster. "How the hell d'you know my name?"

The Doctor grinned maniacally at him. "What? You don't recognize me? Come on, where're the cheesy chat up lines and tacky innuendo? I spose you've got the smouldering good looks but you never could hide those." Rose giggled softly at Jack.

He lowered his blaster slowly, "Rose, who is this? Where's the Doctor?"

She switched her gaze to look at the Doctor, "You're looking at him. This is the Doctor."

"Hello!" The Doctor waved and Rose giggled again.

**I can't get to sleep  
I think about the implications of diving in too deep  
and possibly the complications  
Especially at night  
I worry over situations  
I know I'll be alright  
Perhaps it's just imagination  
**

Jack's jaw dropped wide open and he gaped at the couple on the floor. "Oh my God…why're you…I mean…how d'you look…?"

"So devilishly handsome?" The Doctor grinned.

Jack smiled toothily. "I was gonna say different but, yeah, that too."

"Regeneration." Rose offered simply.

If possible, Jack's eyes grew wider. "I thought that was a myth! Wow, I can't believe that it's you."

The Doctor laughed happily. "You better believe it. Me in all my fantastic glory!"

Jack took in a deep breath and sighed with relief. "So why are you here, kneeling on the floor covered in blood?" His eyes swept through with concern and confusion. Rose pushed away from the Doctor's grip and brought her knees up to her chest once more. Both were silent as Jack waited for an answer. "Rose?" Shaking her head, sharp tears slipped down her cheeks. "Doctor?"

The Doctor's eyes focused on Rose as he answered Jack's worried voice, "We need your help. Something happened…and we need your help. Rose…"

"No! Please, Doctor, I can't hear it, please, please don't make me…" She trailed off, staring at the floor intently.

"He needs to know, Rose, he has to know what we're up against."

"I can't listen to it, Doctor. It's just too soon, I can't." Sobs wracked her body and her knees fell from her chest. Jack dropped down in front of her and gathered her up against him. She clung onto him for dear life.

"Shhh, shhh, Rosie, it's okay, honey. You don't have to hear it. Shhh, shhh." Jack rocked her like the Doctor had done. Back and forth slowly, his eyes fixed on the Doctor, anger blazing in his eyes.

**Alone between the sheets  
only brings exasperation  
It's time to walk the streets  
Smell the desperation  
At least there's pretty lights  
and though there's little variation  
It nullifies the night from overkill**

Rose's sobs lessened but still Jack rocked her back and forth until she became very still, looking down at her closed eyes, he whispered to the Doctor, "She's asleep."

"Come on, let's get her into her bed." Jack scooped Rose into his arms and followed the Doctor down the corridor. Jack stared at the man in front of him. His shoulders slumped and his eyes were staring at the ground as he walked. Somehow, Jack knew that whatever had happened had shaken the Doctor to the very core of his being. The man was broken and guilt-ridden. Opening the door to her old room, Jack smiled as he saw that it was exactly as how he'd last seen it. Pink and silver, clothes strewn across the floor and half-used make-up on the cabinet top. The Doctor pulled back the covers on her bed and gently Jack laid her down on the soft mattress. So innocent normally, but now even her slumber was tinged with sadness and fear. Jack watched as the Doctor curved the covers over her body with trembling hands and brushed a lock of hair from her face. The Doctor's eyes locked onto Rose and he felt the guilt seeping through his skin. Jack watched as the Doctor linked his fingers through hers briefly before slipping out again. Jack followed as the Doctor left vacated Rose's room, leaving her alone and sleeping fitfully.

**I can't get to sleep  
I think about the implications  
o diving in too deep  
ad possibly the complications  
Especially at night  
I worry over situations  
I know it'll be alright  
It's just overkill  
**

Closing her door softly, Jack walked quickly to catch up with him, anger tainting his voice. "What, you're just gonna leave her there!" He got no answer as the Doctor slid into the kitchen. "For God's sake, something bad has happened and you're ignoring me!" Again he got no answer as the Doctor sat down at the kitchen table, a blank look on his face. "How could you just abandon her like that! She needs you!"

"I'm the reason she's like this." He answered quietly.

"What the hell d'you mean! What happened!" All Jack got was silence. "For Rose's sake, would you just tell me!"

"I can't!" The Doctor shot out of his seat, palms flat on the cold marble table and eyes hammering guilt into Jack. "I can't go through that again, Jack. I let her down and I just…" He sat back down and stared as his hands turned around. Jack sucked in a breath as he saw the palms coated with valleys of dried blood.

"I have to know. I'm sorry but if you believe this is hard for you, think how damn hard this is for Rose. I have to know what's going on."

Silence was all Jack was greeted with at first but slowly the Doctor's head rose up to his view. "I'll tell you, Jack. But at the end, you're going to wish I hadn't. Or maybe wish that I was dead."

**Day after day it reappears  
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear  
Ghosts appear and fade away  
Come back another day  
Day after day it reappears  
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear  
Ghosts appear and fade away  
Ghosts appear and fade away**

* * *

**A/N:** If possible, will someone give me a bit of feedback on Jack, I've never written him before and was wondering how I've done. Thanks in advance! 


	18. Judge and Executioner

I'm back! Thanks for waiting for me but since I came back, everything's changed! The Doctor has a new suit anda new assistant. I'm not sure which looks weirder. Then I find that the layout for the sight's different plus, is it just me or have there been a lot of Reinette-hate fics recently? I didn't like her either but what happened to all the fluffy Rose/Doctor fics? Oh, I'm on a rant, now. You best just read and review while I talk to myself for a while. Here we go again...

* * *

Judge and Executioner

The Doctor felt Jack's eyes boring into his skin like a pneumatic drill, digging deeper to find the truth he was longing to see. He knew that Jack deserved to know what happened, he couldn't escape it but he dreaded to think what Jack what do. Would he be angry? Would the Doctor be able to sense the pure seething hatred for him emanating from Jack's skin? All the Doctor could sense from him now was frustration. Annoyance at him for this blatant avoidance. But now it was crunch time for the panicked Doctor. He had to tell Jack. He had to _tell_ him. "Doctor, please."

Looking up, he saw a reflected piece of empathy in Jack's face. "There were others before you, Jack, you know that, right?" Jack nodded slightly. The chair scraped along the floor as Jack sat opposite the Doctor, "We landed in Utah in 2012. That was when she found Adam, and I let him on board." The Doctor hung his head in guilt and shame.

"Rose told me about him, before. She said you chucked him out but she never said why."

He laughed lightly and stared Jack in the eye, "He messed about with history. Got a door installed in his head, phoned home with information for his own gain and I chucked him out on his ear. Maybe if I'd checked the date then…" He trailed off, swallowing a lump in his throat

"Doctor, what happened to Rose?"

"I'd only just come back for her, you see. I left her here after we got in trouble, bad trouble and I couldn't risk her getting hurt again. I should've known better."

**I have seen peace. I have seen pain,  
Resting on the shoulders of your name.  
Do you see the truth through all their lies?  
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?  
And if you want to talk about it anymore,  
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,  
I'm a friend.**

The tears streaked down his face silently. "I told her, Jack. I told her I loved her. And Rose told me the same. She said she loved me. We…spent the night together." A small smile tugged at the corners of the Doctor's mouth. "But he found her. Adam teamed up with an old enemy of mine. Stole her right from under my nose." Jack saw the Doctor's eyes blacken harshly, his stare was piercing. "He took her, Jack. They tortured her, beat her; took her blood because they thought she was pregnant with my child!"

Jack's mouth fell open in disgust and shock. "What? How is that…it's not possible. They did that to her!"

"That's not the worst part Jack. He raped her." Now Jack's own eyes turned black with hate but he waited. "Adam raped her in front of me. He took her hostage after I stopped his first plan. He took her hostage and tortured her in front of my eyes. You can't even imagine what it's like, can you?" Jack didn't answer, stoically quiet. "You wouldn't want to imagine because now…you've seen what it's done to her. You've seen her eyes."

He nodded glumly in agreement and broke he reverence. "They're not Rose's eyes anymore, are they? She's gone…"

His voice was flat. "Rose is broken and I don't know how to fix her."

**I have seen birth. I have seen death.  
Lived to see a lover's final breath.  
Do you see my guilt? Should I feel fright?  
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?  
And if you want to talk about it once again,  
On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder.  
You're a friend.**

Jack stared at the Doctor. Bloodied jacket, ripped shirt. Tear stained face. "What aren't you telling me, Doctor?"

The Doctor's eyes shot like a whip downwards. "What makes you think there's something else."

"In any incarnation I'd know there was something else. Now, what aren't you telling me?"

"Adam…Adam showed me something. Something from his memory. After I left Rose, she tried to…she swallowed pills and Adam… he found her…"

"He saved her didn't he?"

"Yeah. He saved her. I can't even lay a finger on him now because he saved her. D'you understand?"

Jack felt anger bubbling up inside him. A volcano spewing lava. "No, I don't! This man joined forces with an enemy of yours! He kidnapped Rose! He tortured her! Judging by the amount of blood on you both, he must've cut her open! He frightened the life out of her. Literally!" Jack stood, fists clenched and shaking. The chair falling backwards into nothingness. "He raped her! And you're just gonna let him get away with it because he had a conscience once upon a time!"

"I can't…" the Doctor began but Jack cut him off, thumping his fists onto the table top.

"One good deed doesn't just wipe away what he's done to Rose!"

The Doctor stood up, staring Jack straight in the eye. "Don't you think I know that! Every time I see his face, everytime he says a word; I can see him hurting her. I hear his words telling me there's nothing left. I can feel her hope, her life ebbing away because of him. But I can't do a damn thing about it!"

**You and I have lived through many things.  
I'll hold on to your heart.  
I wouldn't cry for anything,  
But don't go tearing your life apart.**

**I have seen fear. I have seen faith.  
Seen the look of anger on your face.  
And if you want to talk about what will be,  
Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,  
I'm a friend**

Jack rounded around the table and squared himself next to the Doctor. "So, what? That's it, huh? You're just gonna let him destroy her? Let her fester in the memories? I saw her, Doctor; she's not the same Rose anymore. Adam took it away. He took it all away from her and you won't do a thing about it!"

"Because I can't, Jack; he saved her life! I put the sonic screwdriver straight to his heart, when he was unarmed! I could've killed him with a flick of a switch but I didn't! I couldn't!"

Jack stepped back from him, shaking his head, "Just because he's unarmed doesn't mean he's not dangerous. Rose can't survive knowing that he could do it again."

"You've been away too long, Jack. You've forgotten. Rose would never forgive me if she knew I'd killed an unarmed man."

"She'd never forgive you if you let him go, either." He stared at the floor for a second before fixing the Doctor's stare with his own. "Where is he? What did you do with him?" The Doctor remained silent as Jack's frustration levels went hyper. "Where is he now?"

"I can't tell you that, Jack. I can't risk him overpowering you and getting back to Rose because, I'll tell you one thing; he's strong. He has power over anyone. He'll use anything to get to you. You know I can't risk losing you both."

"And you know as well as I do that I can't have him alive. Adam raped Rose! _Adam tortured Rose!_ And if you won't kill him, then I will." Silence settled over them both.

Until a muffled scream sliced through the tension, like a blade through young skin.

**And if you want to talk about it anymore,  
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,  
Once again.  
Cry on my shoulder,  
I'm a friend.

* * *

**

A/N: Now you probably hate me, but before you give up, I promise that it's not what you think. Much. 


	19. Darkened Corners of Enlightened Minds

This is a bit violent and I don't know if it's too much but it's still good. Or at least I think so. I haven't got a beta so all errors are mine but nothing you might recognise belongs to me. Sorry for the wait! Please review as I need some good news!

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Darkened Corners of Enlightened Minds

A muffled scream sliced through the tension, like a blade through young skin. The rip of the cry burnt through the two men equally. Jack felt it spreading through him until it reached to the tips of his toes, threatening to break through the battered leather of his boots. Although Jack stood rigid, the Doctor was the first off the mark, sprinting quick running steps pounding on the harsh floor of the TARDIS. Jack came to his senses as the shock abated slightly, replaced by fear. He heard the Doctor running ahead of him and found that even though he was lighter in this incarnation, his running footsteps seemed heavier to Jack's ears. He tried in vain to keep up with the Doctor, just catching him as he rounded a corner. "What's happening? Doctor?"

All he got in reply was a muttered "Rose..."

He was sure it wasn't even meant for his ears. Jack's muscled body nearly slammed straight into the Doctor's back as he skidded to a halt in front of a dark wooden door. His sweaty hand turned the doorknob shaking with slight shock as the metal cooled his palm down. His eyes widened as he looked up to find the bed coverless. Rose's hazel eyes clamped shut tight and her body fitting silently.

**Still a little bit of your taste **

**In my mouth  
Still a little bit of you laced **

**With my doubt  
Still a little hard to say **

**What's going on?  
**

Jack felt the wind rush past him as the Doctor sped and came to Rose's side faster than a whip crack. He cradled her face in his right hand, his other entwined tightly within her hand. Her skin was slick with perspiration, glistening magically like diamonds and plastering her blond and red hair to her face. Jack stared at the scene in front of him and came to Rose's right side, opposite from the Doctor. The Doctor's eyes were frantically searching her face, buzzing all over her body as her limbs shook and her hips raised, small cries echoing from her lips. She crashed her hips back down to the mattress and trembled, as she began to speak from her nightmare. "No, you can't do this. I won't let you. I won't let you." She gasped and she curled into a ball, facing to the Doctor. "Please, please don't do this. You're better than this."

"Rose, sweetheart, you have to wake up…" Jack began

"No." The Doctor cut him off, with a shake of his head, "I've gotta know what they did to her."

Her pleas became louder as she grasped her own healed stomach, bucking up from the bed. "No, please! You know I won't tell you anything, I'll never tell you anything!" She swore and clamped her arms tighter around her stomach.

"This has gone far enough. Rose honey, wake up."

"No! I have to see." The Doctor pressed two fingers onto her temple and entered her mind as the screams became thunderous, echoing round his head.

**Still a little bit of your ghost your witness  
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed  
You step a little closer each day  
Still I can't say what's going on**

His whole body jerked again and he found himself standing in a blood spattered room, white walls stained red. This place was familiar. He saw her, leather straps anchoring her wrists, ankles and waist to the cold marble platform. The Doctor felt like he couldn't breathe. Oxygen formed clumps in his throat and he swallowed them down forcibly. He had to keep a mantra in his head. _This has already happened. You didn't stop it._ Her cries were louder here, more forceful. Her eyes open and the pain was real. Adam clamped a hand around her throat and spoke whispers into her ear while she choked and gasped for breath. The Doctor watched as a Sycorax soldier held a long, blunt blade to her face. "If you do not co-operate with us we will take your blood and make you talk!"

She nodded reluctant and Adam released his grip. "I'll tell you the truth, yeah? Closer." Adam's head lowered and a smirk grew on her battered face, chuckling she whispered to him. "Idiot. You a son of a…" her pain filled scream sliced her own words off as the blade tore jagged rips through her stomach. Blood trickled from the shallow wound. "I'm not telling you anything!"

Adam looked down on her. "Not yet, at least." He motioned with his hand and the soldier exited slowly, Adam watching his retreating back. Once gone, Adam's hand flitted across her wound, soaking his fingers in her blood. He trailed them upwards, over her body, across her chest and on top of her lips. The blood trailed a path where his fingers had been, coating her neck, chin and top. Her lips turned bright scarlet as he coated them in her blood and bent down, hovering over her. She trembled and shook, twisting away as he caught her chin in his fingertips and lowered his lips on top of hers briefly. Rage bubbled to the brink of the Doctor's restraint.

**Stones taught me to fly  
Love taught me to lie  
Life taught me to die  
So it's not hard to fall  
When you float like a cannonball**

Adam peeled himself away from her, his face hovering close to Rose, blood smeared across both their lips as he smiled. "I can still taste him on your lips. Disgusting."

Rose whispered through clenched teeth. "Don't talk about him. He's worth a million of you."

Adam's face came closer to hers. "He's a murderer."

"Look who's talking." Rose retorted, "He'll come for me. He always does."

Adam laughed, "We both know that's not true, Rose." His hand clamped over her stomach and pressed harder and harder until she cried out. "Do it again, sweetheart. I love that sound."

She spat at him "Go to hell! As if I'd ever do anything for you!"

Adam wiped his face and stared at her hardly. "Oh Rose. You'll do anything for me by the time I'm finished with you." He pressed harder onto her wound and she clenched her jaw tight, unmoving. The Doctor saw tears gather at the corners of her eyes. He could see her breaking down slowly. This was what he'd done. Adam wore her down slowly. Played on everything she feared. The physical pain, memories of days gone by. Adam had even made her relive her worst moments. Again and again. He knew that she wouldn't hold out for much longer. _Hadn't_ held out much longer. Adam's palm pressed harder into her wound, tearing at the sides and stretching her skin and will to the limit. The Doctor's anger rose higher and higher as Adam's hand pressed harder and harder. Adam's will to make her scream.

**Still a little bit of your song **

**In my ear  
Still a little bit of your words **

**I long to hear**

**You step a little closer to me  
So close that I can't see what's going on**

His hand came up from her stomach, plastered in blood. "Shall I tell you, my little rosebud?" Her eyes widened at the nickname and he smiled. "Yes. I know what he calls you. I even know what he calls you in bed. Little slut rosebud."

"He'll rescue me."

He ignored her "I had a dream, Rose. It told me everything I needed to do. Use the Sycorax's power to control the TARDIS' path. Bring it to you. Steal you from under his nose and make you suffer. You see, honey, when you suffer he suffers. It's sweet really. I should write it down and sell it as a romance novel."

She looked up at him with her head lolling slightly. "Insane nutter."

"Really? D'you reckon? Fantastic!" She bristled visibly at the word. "My dream, Rose. My master came to me in the dream. He said to me 'Come forth and I'll give you eternal life.'"

Rose laughed. "I came fifth and won a blender, Adam!"

The Doctor saw Adam's features contort in rage at the mockery of his life. She laughed harder and harder until Adam snapped. His hand became white as it morphed into a fist and slammed a punch into Rose's gut. She cried out from the pain and the tears leaked down her face. "Not so strong now, huh? Scream again for me, rosebud. Scream." The Doctor saw as he punched her gut again but Rose's will strengthened and she didn't give in. He watched as Adam's face lit up with a grin that chilled the Doctor to the core. "I'll tell you what, love, how about I make you scream another way? Have you begging me to stop. You can even pretend I'm him, rosebud."

The Doctor felt a small hand secure his shoulder.

**So come on courage!  
Teach me to be shy  
'Cause it's not hard to fall  
And I don't wanna scare her  
It's not hard to fall  
And I don't wanna lose  
It's not hard to grow  
When you know that you just don't know**

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A/N: Is it too much? Constructive critisism and reviews are welcomed, thank you.


	20. A Burn From Disgust

My first fic! Ever! To celebrate breaking the eighty review and twenty chapter mark, I've got a challenge here for you, there's a quote in here from my second favourite T.V series. Tell me the quote and the show and the winner gets the next chapter dedicated to them! Bonus points and TARDIS biscuits for guessing who said the quote on the other programme. I wanted something to perk this chapter up because it's not really action packed, so I set a challenge in here for fun. Review and tell me what you think of my writing, please. Love doctor and rose forever xxx

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A Burn From Disgust

Warmth spread on his body, emanating from a source that gripped his shoulder loosely but securely. The knot of warmth travelled over his dark mind and swept over the bitter cold the Doctor felt grip his soul. He didn't turn simply because he already knew who it was. Still he stared at the scene in front of him, his every fibre breaking with everything at once. Overload of sympathy, pain, anger, hatred, pulsing burning rage that took him over. Guilt. Oh, so much guilt it made his muscles ach and his eyes prick with tears of self loathing. God, how could he have let this happen? He let go, right under his nose and then let her be tortured, hunted like a wild animal. The warmth tried to break down the ice of his core but it didn't relent. His rage built and his fingers twitched as the muscles pumped battery acid around him. So much self-hatred, so much guilt that it was burning him from the inside out. A small, sympathetic voice called out to him. The voice he expected to call him. "Doctor, you can't watch anymore."

He snapped but his body was unflinching. "Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Cara."

He heard her sigh in exasperation. He didn't care. "You can't see this," she said harsher than before, "It's what he wants. I know you want to see what happened but you can't. I can't risk you destroying yourself. This is eating you up inside. I know you're scared…"

He cut her off, "Scared?" He looked at her face finally. Broken as Rose. "Scared? I'm terrified."

**Wrapped inside a twisted world  
I can't decide what is even real anymore  
As though I ever knew  
Tangled in these silhouettes  
Floating face down in a river of regrets  
And thoughts of you**

Cara's silver eyes closed and looked down. She was burnt just by the direct passage she could see to his soul. The pain and guilt, it overwhelmed her, sent her knees trembling. "Then why do you wish to view more of this?"

"I don't wish to view anything." He sighed and looked down at his left palm. He traced a path of blood down to the centre and re-traced it back to the edge of his hand. He looked blank and hollow. "I _wish_ to take it all away."

"I know. But she needs you on the outside to help her get through these memories, not on the inside where you can study them and swim in your own self contempt."

The scene before him suddenly went blank, turning to a white room with bloody hand prints lining the walls, smudged from grips that never gripped quite hard enough. Holds that never held on long enough. Each one told a story he didn't want to know. The prints almost screamed with pain gone by.

He ran his hands through his hair, creating valleys with sweat, "I have to go back and face him, don't I? I have to hear him out."

She nodded slowly, "It's the only way to understand him."

"And when I understand him, I can destroy him." The Doctor's face hardened with renewed determination.

**You believed she'd never leave  
Rosy cheeked and oh so young  
And full of flame  
Here in this bed of emptiness  
Button by button I come undone  
And only twenty-one**

He turned on his heels around the room as it turned back to a faded blue sky and lush green fields. "Cara? How did you get back?"

She smiled in pride at him, "Why ask the question when you already know?"

He grinned right back at her, "Maybe I just need confirmation."

"Which is Doctor-speak for 'I want my ego rubbed'." She laughed at the puppy-dog look on his face. "Yes, Doctor. It was because of you that Rose's hope returned. You and Captain Jack, of course."

"Oh, yeah, yeah…of course." They both smiled sadly at each other. Softly, the Doctor heard a melodic rhythm enter the space. The noise grew until he heard the words being sung in a way only one thing could sing them.

_Night time is coming awfully early  
I don't even see the moon  
Bedtime always makes me thirsty  
Night has come too soon_

_But I know that little ones get tired  
And need to rest their eyes  
And so be still and settle down beside me  
While we sing our lullabies_

_All the world's asleep, in this forest deep  
Snuggled up with those they love  
Until the sun comes up  
All the world's asleep, in this forest deep  
Sleepy eyes are closing tight  
As we sing goodnight._

"It can't be. I know that song, Doctor. I've heard this voice, this tune before. So long ago, now."

He looked at Cara as the sound drifted without words. Suddenly he remembered. "Rose said something. After the Gamestation, after Bad Wolf…"

"_It's like there was this singing."_

**Gone like the broken words at your feet  
You're gone in the venom lips that kiss me sweetly  
Gone like a frightened bird into the sky  
Won't you take everything I ever had  
And leave me to die as I cry  
**

The Doctor gasped audibly as he realised and remembered the words that Rose had said to him. "It's the TARDIS. She's singing again. Why would she do that?"

"Well, why did she do it last time?"

"I don't…" Cara looked at him pointedly "To save me. She wants to get me out of here, doesn't she?"

She looked annoyed now. He could almost see smoke billowing from her ears. "Yes and I would highly recommend that you do as she asks before she evicts you forcibly."

He backed away in mock- hurt. "Okay, I'm going, I'm going. Nice way to make a man feel unwanted." He closed his eyes and delved deep back into his own mind. He felt his body jerk forward and dizziness overcome him as he opened his eyes to see Jack staring at him with a murderous look on his face. "Erm, hi Jack. Good to see you again."

"Don't you 'hi Jack' me! What happened? Where were you!" Jack sat up from his crouching position over Rose, speaking into her ear. The Doctor looked at Rose, sleeping soundly underneath pale blue covers. She looked ethereal, her hair forming a golden halo above her head and the passive face glowing beautifully. "I went inside her head. Found what I was looking for. I've got an idea."

Jack's stance seemed to lessen in tightness. "What do we do?"

"_We _do nothing. _I _go and talk to Adam."

He looked the Doctor up and down, deciding a battle was futile. "D'you know something, Doctor?" Jack breathed in deep. "I like my plan better. Get up, get out, get drunk; repeat as needed. It's just more elegant." The Doctor laughed at an oblivious Jack. "What?"

**Holy tears  
They linger on  
Holding you  
My love forever gone.**

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**A/N: I just figured out that I've been watching Fight Club a lot recently, so maybe the morbidity is rubbing off on me. Have I gone 'Fight Club?'**


	21. Truth, Fact and Blatant Lie

Wow okay, this chapter is dedicated to Laced-with-fire for guessing the quote, the show and the character who said it! It was "I like my plan better; get up, get out, get drunk, repeat as needed; it's just more elegant." From Buffy the Vampire Slayer said by Spike. Well done for guessing it, only Cara guessed as well but didn't get it all! Oh, BTW got my GCSE results...3 A's, 4 B's, 2 C's and and A star. I'm so happy coz i was predicted D's and C's! Please make my week the best and review, I cherish every single one I get. Thank you so much. (Bit of a warning here; it gets angsty so if it's not your thing, don't read.)

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Truth, Fact and Blatant Lie

Jack looked at the unfamiliar form of the Doctor. He saw the new found lightness that this brilliant man possessed pushed out by fear, guilt and shame. The light was fading as quickly as Rose's innocence had left her. All of Jack's instincts were saying to go with the Doctor. He knew that no-one could face a man who'd done what Adam did to Rose without feeling guiltier, ignominy being injected into his veins like poison from a dart. It boiled his blood just knowing what had happened so he couldn't begin to wonder what the Doctor was experiencing. The Doctor had watched it happen, seen the woman he loved hurt, her sanity torn into pieces. No. Jack had made up his mind. Jack trusted his instincts. "I'm going with you, Doctor."

The Doctor's head shot up from its locked position on Rose's sleeping body. "No, someone has to watch Rose."

"She isn't in any danger right now; the TARDIS'll look after her." Jack met the Doctor's eye. Blue battling with brown. "Doctor, I need this as well."

He sighed long and paused. "Just…just promise me that you won't do anything stupid."

Jack grinned and placed two fingers to his temple, saluting him. "Time Scout's honour, sir!"

"As if you were ever a scout." The Doctor smiled and strode over to the door.

**Bows and flows of angel hair **

**Ice cream castles in the air and feather canyons everywhere,**

**I've looked at clouds that way.  
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.  
So many things I would have done **

**But clouds got in my way.**

The Doctor wrenched the door open hard and gestured at Jack to move. As he strode by, the Doctor stared hard at him. He knew there was something else, something that Jack, a man he trusted and loved, was hiding from him. Closing the door behind him softly, the Doctor followed Jack down the cold, silent hallway quickly catching up with him. Taking the lead, Jack followed him, his boot-clad feet pounding on metal gridded flooring. Secretly, the Doctor had no plan. No idea what to expect from Adam. He knew the boy well enough to expect a few tricks and manipulating lies but the Doctor knew that Jack wouldn't be able to shut Adam's lies out forever. He'd ignore them for a while. At least until Adam talked about Rose. Jack loved Rose, was protective of her and he was a trained killer. He wouldn't have any qualms about beating Adam to a pulpy, bloody, bruised death. Realisation hit him. This was why he wasn't objecting to bringing Jack along for the ride. He wanted Adam dead.

He stopped as he heard Adam laughing and muttering to himself behind a door. Finding his screwdriver quickly, he looked at Jack pointedly and aimed it at the lock of the door, depressing the button. Opening the door he found Adam standing upright, forehead leaning against the back wall, fingering the marks of Rose's blood. His voice was low and resonating. "I knew you'd be back. Couldn't leave me in here forever, huh?"

He spoke strongly, loudly. "No. But I can't let you go either." Turning around and locking the door back up, the Doctor glanced at Jack behind him. Stoically quiet, unusually so. "I wanna talk to you Adam; I wanna know why you're hurting her like this."

Adam still faced the wall, tips of his fingers tracing bloody handprints. "You know why. I've told you all this before."

"No. You told me a story, a fairytale, Adam. You told me what you wanted me to hear. I want the truth."

Adam snapped, shouting at the wall. "I told you the truth!"

"No. You told me lies, I want cold hard fact."

**Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels, **

**The dizzy dancing way you feel as every fairy tale becomes real; **

**I've looked at love that way.  
But now it's just another show.**

**You leave 'em laughing when you go**

**And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.  
**

Adam laughed. "You want me to tell you how she begged, pleaded for me to stop? You want me to tell you how her screams sounded? You want me to say how her skin felt beneath my fingers? How hot she was? How tight she was? How she smelled? How she looked as I raped her, helpless, tied up? You want me to describe to you how her skin tasted of blood, of sweat, of fear!" his voice reached a crescendo as he gripped the wall with his hands. "Believe me; I soaked up everything, with all five senses." The Doctor placed his own palm on top of Jack's chest to keep him back. This was truth, the cold hard fact the Doctor needed. "No, Doctor. You don't need me to tell you all this because you already know it, don't you. You know what she sounds like, what she looks like when you hurt her because you've done it before"

He restrained himself and Jack from beating the life out of him. "Tell me. Tell me why."  
"Why?" Adam questioned. "Why? Maybe it's just me, all along. Maybe it's because of you. Maybe it's because of my parents." He breathed deeply. "So in your professional opinion, _Doc_, was it nature or nurture that made me this?"

The Doctor swallowed, staring at Adam's back. "To be honest, I think you have a morbid desire to burn in hell."

**Tears and fears and feeling proud **

**To say "I love you" right out loud,  
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds,**

**I've looked at life that way.  
But now old friends are acting strange, **

**They shake their heads, they say I've changed.  
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.**

Adam's laugh was cold and callous, "Never in all my days did I think of you as being a religion freak, Doctor. Hell? D'you really believe in such a thing?"

He thought for a moment, lowering his hand from jack's chest and clutching onto the sonic screwdriver. "I believe in justice. In one life or the next. Maybe it's just wishful thinking."

Adam was almost triumphant, smirking to himself, "Ahh! There's the truth!"

"Tell me, Adam, tell me why you did this to her."

His voice went monotonous, almost as if he were a broken record tired of repeating himself over and over. "Because you love her, I told you that."

"No. I want the real reason."

Adam looked up to the ceiling and back down again to the wall, forehead once again resting on the plaster. "Reason's got nothing to do with it. I do what I want Doctor, I don't care about other people's feelings."

The Doctor dared to chance it. "Liar."

His head snapped away from the wall, his back straightened. "Don't you of all people call _me_ a liar! Remember! I know who you are, what you've done! I saw you kill people! Innocent people who didn't deserve that kind of treatment!"

The Doctor remained calm but could feel his restraint stretching like elastic. "Don't make this about me, we're talking about you."

"I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why I raped her, why I broke her down, damn near gutted her for information about you." He punched the wall between his words, his voice growing louder, breaking, shattering the tension around him. "I did it because I wanted to do it. I hurt her because I could!" He turned around sharply to face the cold steel of the Doctor but was met by familiar eyes, he smiled coolly. "Captain Jack Harkness. Nice to see you again."

**I've looked at love from both sides now,  
from give and take, and still somehow  
it's love's illusions I recall.  
I really don't know love at all.  
I've looked at life from both sides now,  
From win and lose, and still somehow  
It's life's illusions I recall.  
I really don't know life at all. **

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**A/N: okay, thank you for reading it all but I really need to know if you saw this coming?**


	22. Brilliance In Her

Wow, I seriously can't believe this is the 22nd chapter! I want to thank anyone who read, reviewed, favourited or put this on story alert because they all mean so much to me as this fic is nearing its end: BUT it's not over yet! Please continue to review, I love them. Brilliant! Warning: rated a bit for language and slight violence but not as bad as some chapters, I think. Enjoy as always, thanks. :D

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Brilliance In Her

Adam smiled coolly as he turned around. "Captain Jack Harkness. Nice to see you again." The Doctor's mouth gaped open in shock at Adam's sweet-sounding words. How in Rasillion's name did Jack know Adam?

He swallowed the lump in his throat down as he found his voice again, turning to stare at Jack. "How does he know you then, Jack!" Jack tore his own blue eyes from Adam and turned to face the Doctor. "Huh? Come on, I wanna know!"

"Hey, calm down, Doc, I just work for Torchwood." Jack stated as if it cleared up everything.

The Doctor gaped at Jack, the name sounding familiar to him. "And what the hell's Torchwood when it's at home!"

"Oh, what a surprise, Doctor, you haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you!" Adam fumed, coming in between them. "I was _taken by_ Torchwood! He _works for_ Torchwood! Do the damn math!"

The Doctor's eyes were quizzical, searching for an answer he could accept. "You're the one who captured him, Jack?"

"Yes, Doctor." Jack reached in his belt and produced his old blaster, pointing it at Adam's head. "We found out that he was interfacing with the Sycoraxians in order to destroy the earth, or at least that's what I was told. Then I found out your little secret, didn't I, Adam?" Jack's head cricked to the right. "One you'd had to keep very, very quiet over." Jack clicked his fingers. The door in Adam's head creaked open, worn from overuse, the metal rusting a little at the sides and cutting into Adam's forehead. Smiling broadly, Jack clicked his fingers again and the doors sealed themselves slowly, sparks shooting at the metal scraped together and burning Adam's skin.

**Alone in this house again tonight  
I got the TV on, the sound turned down**

**And a bottle of wine  
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me  
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me  
I'll never get over you walking away  
**

"I found out that you'd travelled with the Doctor. I found out that you weren't exactly the innocent human victim in all this." The barrel of Jack's blaster gun pressed harder into Adam's head.

Adam smiled sickly, "Nah, I guess _Rose_ was in the end. Now you're holding a gun to my head! What would our little rosebud think, huh?" He laughed audibly; Jack lowered his gun in defeat, eyes to the ground. "She was a good little slut of a bitch, I'll give her that." Jack's teeth gritted, his fist balled and all the tension stored up in him released in one swing, connecting with Adam's jaw with a crack. Adam stumbled backwards, holding his face, still smiling.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that ever again or I'll make you suffer."

He ignored Jack, "That was one hell of a punch, Harkness! Rose'd be so proud of you, beating up her rapist like this." Jack punched his jaw again, harder. So much force in one swing that it knocked Adam to the ground, his lip bleeding and his cheek bruised.

Jack felt hands on his chest, pushing him back as the Doctor, grinning, squatted down by the fallen Adam. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, _mate,_" his grin slipped, his face hard as rock. "I might just let Jack kill you. I haven't seemed to be able to make my mind up yet."

Adam breathed heavily staring hard eyed at the Doctor, his gaze flicking between Rose's two protectors. His voice was a grating sarcasm. "Then choose death. That way she'd really love you, Doctor!"

**Would it help if I turned a sad song on  
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone  
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters  
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better  
But I'll never get over you by hiding this way  
**

The Doctor opened his eyes and stared hard down at Adam, seeing him for what he was after all this time. Adam was a little boy, not used to being told 'no', never knowing when to stop, when to let go. He wanted revenge and was prepared to go the whole way to get it, not caring who he used and abused along the way. The Doctor got the distinct feeling that this bastard would kill his own mother for victory. The thought disgusted him, bile rising to his throat so far he could taste it on his tongue. Adam's eyes flicked to the floor as he breathed raggedly.

Finally Adam's voice spoke past the tension. "It's a shame she can't see this. You two working together again, after all this time. She's love to see it."

"What d'you know about it?" Jack put in, his voice full of malice, "What would you know about what she'd want to see?"

Adam scoffed, "Well, she told me for one thing, you idiot." He got to his feet and leaned against the back wall, cradling his jaw in his hand. "After the stupid bint tried to kill herself. Told me about you both, how she was so proud of the way you two worked together. Told me stories in the hospital afterwards, did Rose. Recounted every little adventure you three had together. I almost thought she was jealous the way she described them, so heroic, so noble the both of you."

The Doctor's curiosity peaked. "What did she say to you?"

**I've never been the kind **

**To ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that being strong **

**Meant never losing your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry**

He paused for a moment, eyes going between the two men. "She said she'd always felt like the third wheel when you two were working together, that she was reminded of how stupid she was, especially when you two would ramble on and on about technology and she didn't have a clue. She said it felt like a slap in the face when you laughed at her for not knowing anything that was worth knowing. I used that to get at her, actually." He laughed shortly, "She gave me ammunition!"

Silence greeted Jack. It burned him, tickling flames at his feet until he couldn't stand the torture any more. "Doctor? Did we…?"

He cut Jack off abruptly, "He's lying, I know it; he's lying. You're lying! Brilliant tactic, Adam but it won't work. I know Rose too well and she'd never have believed that we thought she was stupid!" Jack's wrist-com beeped. He glanced at it, eyes going wider as he read the miniature screen. The Doctor went on, rambling at Adam. "Rose knows that I love her to death! Rose is the most amazing thing that's happened to me in centuries!"

"Erm, Doc…" Jack put in, pointing at his wrist-com, but was cut off by the Doctor.

"Rose is beautiful, the best thing in the world, the bravest and the most loyal person I've ever met and it burns me up inside to know that a scumbag, cockroach, son of a…"

"Doctor…" he was cut off again

"It kills me to know that you've touched Rose, felt her skin under your fingertips, it really kills me but d'you know what gets me through this? It's the fact that I know Rose is strong enough to better you because, believe me, Adam; Rose Marion Tyler is never going to let a little runt like you get the best of her. I love her too much to see her destroyed by you!"

"Doctor!"

He went on, staring Adam down, looking at his eyes. "She's the brightest star in the sky, the most beautiful, brave woman I've ever met! She's…"

"Listening behind the door!" Jack yelled.

**I've never been the kind **

**To ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that being strong **

**Meant never losing your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry**

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**A/N: Does this count as a cliffhanger because I have absolutely no idea.**


	23. Dangerous Girl

Hate to say this but this is probably the penultimate chapter...next one is the last, I think. Unless people want an epilogue. As always please review (thanks to everyone who has, it's at 102 at the moment!) I re-wrote the ending to this chapter about ten times to get it right so I like to know that my hard work is appreciated LOL. It's a lot longer than previous chapters but I have so much to say and so much to explain. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it xxx

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Dangerous Girl

The Doctor stopped, mind whirring overtime, mouth open mid-sentence. He twisted his body to face Jack, "What did you just say?"

Jack looked at the face of the Doctor, a strange mix of shock, embarrassment and glee across it. Jack just grinned. "Rose is…erm…she's sorta behind the door now." He said gesturing to his left with a thumb, trying to stifle a laugh.

The Doctor stammered, dumbfounded, "Oh. Right. Well then…how do you…know?"

Jovial, Jack pulled the strips that bound the wrist-com to his skin and passed it to the Doctor, pressing a few buttons, all the while keeping his well used blaster gun trained on Adam. "It found a major power source behind the door, but registered it as having a base of…"

"Human DNA?" The Doctor cut him off, staring at the small screen. "How is that possible? No human can have this kind of power…it's impossible! It's off the scale…" The scanner beeped furiously at him. "It's growing by the second..." The wrist-com screen suddenly glowed mauve, "Something's happening to her, Jack."

"Can't you do something!"

The Doctor's chocolate brown eyes were wide with fear and anger, his temper getting the better of him. "Like what! Something's taking over her body again…" His eyes turned back to Adam, smiling sweetly, leaning against the wall. "You. What did you do?" He grabbed him by the scruff of his collar, "What did you do to her!"

He flinched at the hatred on the Doctor's face. "Nothing."

His fingers released Adam's collar, grabbing him by his throat, pressing against his windpipe slightly. "Tell me now." He got no response. "What've you done to her!"

"I swear I didn't do anything!"

Jack was frantically pressing buttons on the screen of his device, face sweat-drenched and worried. "Doctor, she wants to get inside. Rose's trying to open the door!"

**Darling, when I'm hurt, that's when I'm satisfied  
Tell me what it's worth to pursue the Holy life  
I can see your face even when I close my eyes  
I can give you love even when I've been denied  
Who's loving who?  
Who's fooling who? **

The Doctor released his grip on Adam's throat, huge purple and red welts forming on the skin of Adam's neck. He rubbed it vigorously as he listened to the Doctor and Jack. "How can she be opening the door?"

"I don't know but she is!" Jack pressed buttons furiously on his wrist com, sparks flying from it as the mauve glow grew, luminous, lighting up the room. "I can't override it, Doctor. Rose's just pushing her way through every defence."

"Give it to me, I can try at least." He grabbed it from Jack, using his screwdriver to manipulate the buttons. Massive red and gold sparks shot from the screen now, the device growing hotter by the second until it burned the Doctor's skin and he dropped it onto the floor, smashing it into a million pieces. He swore in Galifreyan. "Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"

"What're we gonna do, Doctor?"

The Doctor looked Jack straight in the eye, unflinching as the thoughts processed through his head. "I don't know." Jack knew then that it was too bad for words.

Both turned and stared as the door glowed gold, the wisps threading their way through the cracks around the frame. They danced their way about the wood, seeping into its crevices, melting through the grain and filtering through the splinters. Everything about the door emanated with a power that the Doctor had seen only twice before. Now it was greater, a more advanced power than he had ever known. It shook his cells and made all three men quake in fear. The golden, sparkling wisps melted the door slowly, starting from the top, slowly, slowly revealing the woman behind it. Dripping, melting, becoming vapour, miniscule fragments at a time, it became nothing. The Doctor saw her blonde hair first. A different blonde; honey coloured and wild around her face like a halo. Rose's eyes glowing with the power, her smile so serene and beautiful, the Doctor thought she was an angel, beautiful, powerful, haunting eyes blazing through his soul.

**Darling, what is love if it never gets you high?  
Should we sit and wait while the wasted years roll by?  
Is there time to say if I lied, I apologize  
Never go away, please stay here by my side  
Who's fooling who?  
Who's loving who?**

The Doctor and Jack both stumbled back as a golden Rose glided ethereally into the bedroom. She smiled as she saw the look of shock on both their faces. As her eyes flicked to Adam, the Doctor swore he could see fire flame in them. Adam surged forward for the gun hanging in Jack's loose hand, Rose's palm shot up and her eyes roared brilliantly. The gold seeped from her fingertips and cocooned their way around Adam's body, forming a barrier as strong as steel. The Doctor had known this Rose before but when she spoke, it wasn't a voice he was used to. "It's time, Doctor."

Cara's voice was seeping from between Rose's pink lips, flittering around the Doctor's head. "Cara? How, what? Okay, enough already! This is like No-Man's Land for me so would you please explain!"

Rose grinned broadly, beaming at him, "Rose says she thinks your speech you gave was beautiful, she thanks you with everything she has. And, erm, I do too. You rebuilt me and her mind with it."

The worry bled into his voice, shaking and bubbling. "Where's Rose? Is she alright?"

"She's more than alright, she's…well, she's in love." She looked down to the floor briefly before bringing her head back up to meet his eyes, her own shining with tears. "She heard what you said about her, she felt it in her heart and it repaired her enough to make me strong enough. I used some residual energy from the vortex in her cells to make her stronger." Her eyes glistened with love, brewing at the edges. "She wants to see you, to show you that she's stronger."

Suddenly, the gold from Rose's body disappeared. It slinked to a space to her right and formed the ghostly golden body of Cara, billowing dress and palm up; still encasing Adam in his cage. Rose's eyes blinked a couple of times before she hurled herself at the Doctor, laughing, crying and clawing at his body. Rose clung to him for dear life, giggling at the look of sheer joy on his face as she released him. He kissed her lightly on her forehead, "I missed you…I missed you so much."

She smiled, tears streaming down her face, love and need glistening in her voice. "Quite right too." Rose looked to the Doctor, whispering in his ear, "I love you too."

Jack coughed impatiently, "I think you're missing out on someone here, honey."

A false look of confusion invaded her features. "I can't think who..." She smiled as she scratched her head. Jack put on his best hurt gaze before Rose relented, "Oh, come here!" She pulled him into a bear-hug. "I missed you too."

**They try to break you they try to steal your stars  
If they ever take you just remember who you are  
They try to hate you just like some love bizarre  
It's a sign of weakness to be afraid of what you are  
Who's loving who?  
Who's fooling who?  
**

Adam watched the scene, stunned. No, it just wouldn't work out like this! He wouldn't let it go like this! He wouldn't be locked in some kind of cage made of light, for God's sake! He thought as Jack clung onto Rose, an idea popping into his head. "So, rosebud, what're you gonna do now? You going to kill me? You going to be my murderer?"

"Rose, don't listen to him…" The Doctor urged, staring at the ghostly form of Cara.

Rose extracted herself from Jack and stood before Adam, her head held high and her voice strong. "You don't own me anymore, Adam. You can't use that. Not anymore. You have no hold over me. I won't let you ruin my life, not now. Not just as I've got it all back! I will not let you hurt me!"

He ignored her, pressing on and on, eyes livid and wild. "Remember, Rose; remember how I touched you! Remember how I hurt you!" He pushed forward on the light, harder, harder, fingers trying to claw at the light. "Remember what I said? You're a waste, Rose. You're Dad's turning in his grave because of you! All the people you hurt! Your boyfriend! Your mum! Your friends! They all hate you, what you've become! You ruined everyone's lives! You hurt everyone you touch!"

Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "No, I think you're confused. In fact, I think the words 'pot calling the kettle black' spring to mind. I told you before; you can't hurt me!"

Adam sneered. "I can and I have and I'll do it again! Stupid little shop girl! He never loved you! He ran off with another woman while you were waiting for him, Rose! You're pathetic to think he'd ever love you!"

The Doctor's hearts plummeted to his feet. Rose stepped back in shock. "Another woman? What d'you mean? Doctor?" She turned to him, "Tell me he's wrong."

His throat clammed up; he never could lie to her like that. "Rose…I…I'm sorry."

Her mouth hung open in shock; she knew. "It was her wasn't it? It was Reinette."

Adam saw his chance and jumped on it. "He never loved you, Rose. You're just a bit of skirt to him!" The Doctor tried yelling over Adam's voice, trying to penetrate Rose's soul, telling her he was sorry. It washed over Rose as Adam ranted on at her, "I sapped the power from the TARDIS and saw it in the databanks…funnily enough it was filed under 'Best Moments Ever'." He laughed coldly, sending shivers down the Doctor's spine. Rose shook her head backing off. Cara's form and the golden cocoon faded. To the Doctor, everything went into slow motion…Adam jumped out, anger blazing in his eyes. He wrestled the gun from Jack, punching him square in the jaw, forcing the blaster from his hand. He grabbed Rose around the waist tightly, pointing the gun to her head. He laughed, brashly. "Beautiful! Just…" He whispered into Rose's ear "…_fantastic. _Don't you just love it, my rosebud!"

He could see it in her face: something inside her sparked brightly. Rose's eyes hardened, her elbow coming into vicious contact with Adam's stomach, forcing it deeper into him with everything she had.

Adam doubled over as the Doctor and Jack both came for the gun, Jack's lip bleeding profusely. Adam grabbed Rose's wrist painfully as she tried to grab the blaster. Three pairs of hands battled for possession of the gun away from Adam.

The sound of a shot echoed around the room. Someone doubled over in agonizing pain, electricity coursing through their veins.

**Even God can't change the past  
No matter how many tears I've cried  
Yes I thought this pain would pass  
Who am I to question why?  
Who am I to question why?  
Who am I to question why?**

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**A/N: Now, I know it's an evil cliffhanger but you won't wait too long for the next part, I promise. Okay, to be honest you probably hate me but please still read on and don't give up on me!**


	24. Wonders of Her World

I actually can't believe this is the last chapter. It's so surreal because I've loved writing this, I really have and everyone has always been so nice in their reviews that I didn't want to end it. I was so nervous about posting it and I've written and re-written this about a million times to get it right. Oh, I know the song's a bit obvious but I couldn't resist. Dedicated to all my reviewers in the order of their first review: **J**, CalleighDelko, **DoctorWhoForever**, Laced-With-Fire, **MontyPythonFan**, Della, **ClaireRickman,** StarshineBaby, **Redfield99**, bookend, **Hanyou Jiru,** More-than-words, **Miss Sara 11**, I-Confuse-Everyone, **Funkyfergie56**, Sabriel Silverwing, **Timerelativedimensioninspace**, totally-utterly-me, **taby42**, Roxy, **saiyamar**, Sarah Jane Smith, **Bad-Wolf 2006**, Sonaive, **morganalefave91** and laura. So here it is. Hope you like and thanks in advance for reviewing. It's been great.:D

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Wonders of Her World

Shock filled the room. Adam's face paled, his hand spreading over the spot on his stomach where the blaster had injected his body with electricity. The Doctor, Rose and Jack froze in horror as painful electric energy ran its way through Adam's blood. Rose stepped back, breathing heavily. Jack was trembling, blood evacuating his face as his skin turned ashen but the Doctor's face was harsh, devoid of any emotion. As Adam stumbled back towards the wall, shock and fear spread on his face, he held the corner of the gun in his trembling hand, still pointing at his own stomach where the shot violated his body. He stumbled, his back hitting the barricade hard at the back of the room, his grip loosening on the gun, letting it fall at his feet. Adam's breathing stopped, his heartbeat ceased as his other hand fell away from his stomach as he slid downwards, eyes closing; he was dead.

Silence contaminated the space.

Rose's pained sobs broke the silence as she whimpered and shook violently. Jack shot out of his own shock, grabbed Rose tightly around her waist and brought her into his chest, one hand splayed across her back, the other stroking down her hair soothingly as she sobbed quietly into his shoulder. His heart broke for her. So strong, so brave and loyal, their Rose. It took a lot to break her like this. She couldn't have held it all in this long. The Doctor stood staring at the pair, lost in the guilt and shame that made his mind buzz. His eyes burned a hole in Jack's forehead. He just couldn't believe it had come to this. The Doctor tore his gaze from the two of them, walking slowly towards the lifeless body of Adam Mitchell. His fingers shook as they pressed lightly into Adam's neck, searching for any signs of a pulse.

Nothing greeted him. Not a beat, not a throb, not the slightest tremor. Slowly he turned back to Jack and gradually shook his head. Sighing and running his hands through his hair, caverns forming in the matt of blood and gel, "Jack, take Rose to the med bay and check her over. I'll be there in a minute." Jack just nodded silently and extracted Rose reluctantly from his chest, an arm wrapped around her waist, so protective it made her weep harder. His fingers were laced tightly, almost painfully, with hers as she smeared the broken tears from her face.

**There was a Rose I knew, **

**I met her once or twice before  
She was a pretty sweet thing, **

**Not the least bit insecure  
Then you came with your slick game**

**And played with her youth  
Ashamed of the way you lied, **

**Played with the truth, **

He just stood over Adam's body, staring at it, willing himself to feel remorse. Adam slumped on his side, head lolling loosely to his right. The Doctor tried hard to be penitent but his will was in vain. He felt nothing for the boy. He wasn't happy he was dead but he wasn't horrified either. The Doctor knew that he had it coming. In one way or another, justice prevailed. In one way or another, everything had a way of working out. It always had. There were good, bad and the people in between. There was life and death and the ones left behind to face the penalty. The Doctor just wished with all his might that Rose didn't have to face the consequences Adam had left behind. He braced a clawed hand against the wall. His voice was tainted with sincerity. "Why did this have to happen? What do I do now?" Another voice, quiet and cautious, echoed through his head.

_You have to go to her._

He sighed deeply, knowing that the TARDIS was listening to him, talking to him, trying to comfort his raging guilt. "She's got Jack, she doesn't need me now."

_Lord, you are stupid sometimes. She's in love with you! Jack might be able to help but she needs you right now before she gives up on you again. Do you want to lose her?_

He looked down to his feet, ashamed. "She's already lost. So long ago now, she was lost."

_No, Rose's just wounded. But wounds do heal, with time and love and you've got both; you can heal her again, however long it takes._

He looked at Adam's body, down by his feet. "Maybe…I don't know." Staring for what seemed like hours until he was suddenly frozen, a horror of a thought coming into his head. "What…what happened back there? Who pulled that trigger? It was all so fast and I just couldn't…tell me what happened…"

_I don't know, Theta, it's something that I can't tell you. It's something that I won't tell you. It's up to you to believe in the ones you love._

He paused looking at his hands for a while. He could still see the stains of Rose's blood; he could imagine his fingers on the trigger, pulling it back and sending Adam into an early, painful death. "Old girl," He spoke finally, "Bury him on earth, please. Maybe it'll help her heal. She can't see him here. She can never see him." The pain, fresh and laced with shame was evident in his voice.

_Yes, I will. Go, now, Time Lord; be with her again. Make her whole._

He strode quickly to the door, glancing back once again at Adam's body before closing the door silently behind him. In his mind, he could hear the TARDIS whirring, building up her energy to transport his body out. As the humming ceased abruptly, plummeting him into stunned silence, an image flashed across his mind, an image projected by the TARDIS. A cemetery flashed across his brain. A cold, grey marble headstone, dappled with shimmering snow in the dead of a harsh winter. Across the monument held only two words, a name etched into the stone, deepened with black inlay: a name that would haunt the memory of Rose Tyler for the rest of her life. The name of Adam Mitchell.

**Now believe me when I tell you that I've been hurt myself  
When I tell you that I love you and I see nobody else  
And now you're so tough trying to wear tight clothes and things  
Tossing and flossing, trying to fill the void heartbreak brings  
When she faces the mirror, yeah  
She's crying, you can't hear her  
Now the rose is still a rose  
She wears a flower, trying to forget about you **

The Doctor just walked slowly, his feet padding heavily across the floor. The dull thump of his converses against the grating pushed his mind to think about Rose once again. He didn't know what to do. How could he even begin to make this up to her? Would she even be able to forgive him? He soon found himself facing the battered med bay door once again. He'd been here too many times in the past few hours to want to be back here again so soon. Head bowed, he summoned up all his bravery and depressed the ornate silver handle on the door. Looking up bit by bit he saw every single piece of equipment in place, fixed once again, brand shining new. The TARDIS had fixed herself up, trying to help keep the pain suppressed for now.

Rose was sitting on the edge of a baby-blue sheeted bed, her eyes facing the floor as Jack ran a scanner over her shaking body. When he finally reached her toes, he straightened up, saying something inaudible to her and walked over to the Doctor, still standing half frozen in the doorway. When he spoke his voice was soft but the Doctor knew he was suppressing anger, "Physically she's fine. A few bruises and…" he swallowed visibly, "Some torn tissue and membrane but that's about it." His tone dropped to a whisper, "I'm more worried about her mind. You'd better tell her you're sorry or so help me god, I'll kill you myself." He scowled and pushed past the Doctor, leaving the two alone again.

Rose head inched up steadily, long lingering in other places that she seemed to be in slow motion. As her eyes finally reached his level, he saw unshed tears glistening in them. As her eyes locked onto his own, she broke. Each tear that slid silently down her pale cheeks carved through the Doctor's resolve. Every time another silky tear broke free from the barrier; he took a tentative step towards her, her tears becoming louder as he came closer. He couldn't bear it. He couldn't watch her like this; so broken. His head dropped, the eye contact shattering into a million pieces.

"N…no…" Her voice was whispered, sugared with sadness, "Don't blame yourself. I've come too far to let you blame yourself."

He was stunned that she even wanted to talk, let alone absolve him of crimes he knew he was guilty for. "Rose, I…"

"I told him I wasn't going to let him break me; not now and not ever. I can never forget, but I can learn to cope. I just need the person I love with everything I've got left to help me." His head shot up at her admission. "I need _you_… I thought I'd lost you so many times, I can't do it again. I can't lose you again… it's too much…" She dissolved into choked sobs, staring at the floor.

Watching Rose Tyler, so broken, so desperate for something to cling onto broke his will. He grabbed her and wrapped her protectively in his arms, quietly crying onto her shoulder. He felt her fingers digging hard into his skin, through his clothes. They both clung on for dear life, neither ever wanting to let go ever again. His hands splayed as far as they would across her back, their bodies grasping for each other's warmth and love. They shared everything in that one moment. The one moment that meant more to the both of them than anything else in the universe. He rocked her back and forth tenderly as she cried herself hoarse.

**She never knew what hit her  
Steal her honey, then forget her  
A rose, she wears a flower  
Trying to forget about you  
Cause a rose is still a rose  
Baby girl, you're still a flower  
He can't lead you and then take you  
Make you and then break you  
Darling, you hold the power **

When Rose pulled her head from on top of his shoulder to meet his gaze, she saw his question before he asked it, "I love you. So damn much it hurts when you're not there. I don't ever want to leave you again."

He smiled winningly "I don't want you to leave either." He kissed her cheek and whispered low and husky. "I love you more than you could know."

She looked stricken, her eyes darting everywhere, "What…what about Reinette?"

He kissed her lips feather-like, tantalising. "Never in all my life could I love her as much as I love you. It's just impossible, I mean… you're the most amazing woman I've ever known! So fearless and loyal, my Rose, my wonderful, beautiful Rose Tyler!" He grinned, his eyes sparking with love and something so profound that it didn't have a word in the English language.

She cupped his cheek, "_My_ Doctor. Brave, brilliant, amazing, fantastic Doctor!" She kissed his cheek. "Never anyone else."

"Really?"

She smiled again. "Really, really."

The Doctor laughed shortly, "Shrek? I do believe I've had an effect on you, Rose Tyler."

Rose grinned, "You have no idea."

They stared into each other's eyes, heads slowly inching towards each other. Attracted like a magnet, pulling the two beings together relentlessly. Rose wound her fingers through his hair and brought his lips down to meet hers. She was flying so high in happiness, in ecstasy, wading knee-deep in a vat of love. The kiss deepened, sparks of electric jolting between their noses. She broke off to breath reluctantly, moaning at the loss of his warm lips against hers. "Not exactly a happy ending, though, is it?"

He smiled sadly for a second, "In my experience, true love doesn't get a happy ending. I think true love doesn't get an ending at all."

She narrowed her eyes at him and beamed. "True love?"

Smirking along with her, he said in a deep, low voice, "Oh yes. Definitely true love."

Rose tilted her head, "You continue to amaze me." She kissed him again, something incredible and beautiful beginning and growing between the two astounding spirits.

The Doctor finally understood that no-one would ever hurt Rose again as long as she was with him. He knew the power of love; and his love for her was the greatest power in the whole of time and space.

Rose found that home was with the man she loved, never leaving his side. She knew that she would forever be safe with him, he would be with her, love her and protect her from her fears and her nightmares with all the life he had in him. Rose Tyler knew he would never stop believing in her.

The TARDIS switched off the camera in the med bay. The TARDIS knew who pulled that trigger and killed Adam Mitchell but she would never tell. Begrudgingly, the TARDIS kept the secret because, above all other reasons, she knew that Rose would never be able to forgive herself for any kind of death, whether intentional or not.

Rose Tyler was just too good.

**Let your life be in the sunshine  
Not the darkness of your sorrow  
You may see your all today  
When you know it'll come tomorrow  
See a rose is still a rose  
Baby girl, you're still a flower  
He can't lead you and then take you  
Make you and then break you  
Darling, you hold the power.**

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**A/N 1: Please tell me what you think, what your favourite chapter were, any continuation errors, anything. Just please review.**

**A/N 2: Extra songs I used were: ****EVERYTIME: BRITNEY SPEARS, **ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD: KT TUNSTALL,** OVERKILL: COLIN HAY**, CRY: JAMES BLUNT**, CANNONBALL: DAMIEN RICE, **HOLY TEARS: TARA MACLEAN,** BOTH SIDES NOW: JONI MITCHELL, **TONIGHT I WANNA CRY: KEITH URBAN,** EVEN GOD CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST: CHARLOTTE CHURCH, **A ROSE IS STILL A ROSE: ARETHA FRANKLIN


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